Watoga High School terminal entries

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Watoga High School - Announcements

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It's that time of year again - October, the witching season!

Here at WHS, we strongly encourage students to express themselves. However, as things have gotten out of hand in the past, we're establishing some strict ground rules for Halloween this year:

1. Absolutely no tricks! The incident in the chemistry lab last year has made it clear that our "no boundaries" policy needs limitations. Students interested in contesting whether their actions qualify as a "trick" are encouraged to file a formal complaint at the front office.

2. Regarding treats, our official policy is that no candy is allowed on school grounds. However, we will have several formal gatherings this month (including Monster Mash Monday) where candy will be distributed on a limited basis through officially sanctioned S.M.A.R.T. machines.

3. The school will hold an official costume contest where school uniforms will not be mandatory attire. We remind students to review the Appropriate Costume Guide in their student handbooks before choosing an outfit for this event.

We kindly remind students that usage of Locker Caddie robots is restricted to students with an upgraded storage pass. Students can purchase an unlimited Locker Caddie subscription as well as a premium locker space at the front office.

Students without a premium storage plan are required to utilize the lockers provided on the first floor. Failure to do so will result in a mandatory donation to the school expansion fund.

We thank you for your understanding in this matter. Go Lions!

We are extremely pleased to announce that renovations to our 2-story art studio are now complete! A year in the making, this state-of-the-art facility will mold the next generation of talented students into the best artists in Appalachia.

There has also been much speculation as to who will fill the role of Art Department Director. Just this week we have secured the contract of a very special robobrain - containing the brain of famous Watogan artist Vincent May-Lilly!

Next term, WHS students will compete to fill 12 exclusive slots to be trained in the creation of fine art by one of the most legendary artists and sculptors of the 21st century. Start practicing now - competition will be steep!

The studio is located in the main building across from the cafeteria. We encourage students to join us at the grand re-opening event and learn more about applying for one of the exclusive spots in Mr. May-Lilly's class.

Below is a list of new school-sponsored extracurricular activities for this term. Visit the front office to apply.

Appalachian Outreach
Arts Appreciation Association
Etymology
Futurists Society
Live-Action Gamers Group
Mathletes
Monthly Book Club
Prospective Leaders Guild
Robotics Club (Sponsored by RobCo Industries)
Society of Skeptics
Watogan Wonders (Clog Dance)
Young Thespians of Appalachia

Make sure to visit the front office by the end of October to sign up for Student Jury, the student organization that deliberates on punishment for infractions committed by fellow students.

We encourage all available students to apply to participate in this important process of the self-governing student body. This week's cases:

Sara B. Betts: Freshman
Two counts of minor tomfoolery

Todd R. Nienkerk: Senior
Mischievous vandalism of robobrain teacher

Laura B. Massey: Sophomore
Repeated violation of WHS nutrition code

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Watoga High School - Headmaster Reinhold

Official WHS Faculty Memorandum
Headmaster Reginald R Reinhold III

Subject: New art teacher

It has come to my attention that it was a faculty member that anonymously leaked to Watoga media that Vincent May-Lilly was under consideration for the Art Department Director role at WHS. Needless to say, I am EXTREMELY DISAPPOINTED by this blatant display of impudence by one who is supposed to be an elite educator.

Now our hand has been forced, and our donors have ensured that we'll be securing Mr. May-Lilly's services for the role. Wonderful. If that tone doesn't read over the terminal, let me clarify that it's 100% sarcasm.

I would like to remind you all that a robobrain encasement doesn't magically embue talent in the subject. May-Lilly was a pretentious no-talent hack when he was alive, and he's twice a hack as a metal beast. I weep for the next generation.

Official WHS Faculty Memorandum
Headmaster Reginald R Reinhold III

Subject: Confiscated items

I would like to address a disconcerting trend that I have observed with the student body.

As you all know, the mission of WHS is to defy the confining structure that traditional educational institutions impose upon students. So we can expect a certain amount of turbulence as our students "get it wrong", so to speak.

That being said, there are areas in which I feel we can do better with strongly suggesting that students conform to societal expectations. Earlier today, I confiscated what can only be described as "a significant cache of highly illegal paraphernalia" from a random student locker sweep. I'm all for self-expression, but this is ridiculous.

On a related note, I have temporarily recalled all Locker Caddie robots in order to upgrade their detection protocols.

Official WHS Faculty Memorandum
Headmaster Reginald R Reinhold III

Subject: Chem lab incident

As Halloween is once again in our sights, I should remind faculty why we are imposing so much structure this year onto what is typically a very free-form educational institution.

As it turns out, encouraging highly educated teens with access to state-of-the-art equipment to be themselves during a traditionally mischievous holiday is a HUGE MISTAKE. I'll save new faculty from the long version of the story by simply stating that we had to replace both a chemistry lab and a chemistry teacher last November.

Therefore, our official Halloween policy this year is - no tricks, no unsanctioned treats, no exceptions! If students have any problems they can file a formal complaint form at the front office. You all know what we do with those.

Official WHS Faculty Memorandum
Headmaster Reginald R Reinhold III

Subject: Monster Mash Monday

I need to clarify a few things about "Monster Mash Monday", the yearly event hosted by the school every Monday before Halloween.

For new faculty - the event involves teachers wearing large masks filled with toys and candy and getting bashed in the head by students wielding bats and sticks. The teacher who lasts the longest wins. The victors' students win prestige, a trophy for their classroom, and a frankly underwhelming assortment of prizes.

I want to make it clear that we've never had any students injured during this event, and participation is strictly voluntary. As barbaric as it sounds, this tends to get their aggression towards authority figures out in a fairly healthy way.

Regardless, I always get a handful of complaints every year from parents, teachers, and even some students. I want you all to know that I take this feedback very seriously and consider it fully. That being said, this event is as old as the school and it's not going anywhere.

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Watoga High School - History

I thought I was hired to teach history, but the only books I'm allowed to assign are about businesses. The history of RobCo. The history of Vault-Tec. These are recruiting brochures, not textbooks.

Well I think it's time for a field trip to a local, historic site like Allegheny Asylum. So I submitted that to the headmaster. Now we wait!

I don't care how much it affects my budget allocation, I'm not working Halloween. Tell the assistant teacher to do it. He's a Handy. He won't care about getting whacked in the head.

While I applaud the foresight in teaching children to turn in their candy instead of eating them, awarding prizes has had unforeseen consequences. Kids are hoarding the candy or worse, STEALING the candy. I caught one group of kids whispering about who had the biggest stockpile, and I swear they were plotting to "raid his stash." This has to stop.

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Watoga High School - Science Lab

These students are fantastic. None of them want to learn anything, so none of them complain when I need to take a little nap.

We even programmed the teaching assistant Handy to do all their tests for them.

I mean, that counts as a group project in a way, right?

Science department is going to be number one again this Halloween. My secret? A double-dose of Med-X before the festivities kick off. My favorite night of the year.

I don't see how eating the candy from the SMART machines is "setting a bad example." It's candy. You're supposed to eat it. You ask me, it's using the candy like some kind of coinage that's weird.