Pi House terminal entries

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Pi House - Ted Dorfman

Welcome to the personal terminal of Theodore "Party Animal" Dorfman! If you're reading this, it means you logged into my personal terminal! Don't do that!

Stuff that people sent me. Reminder to self: read it eventually!

Ted,

Could we please nail down the plans for transferring Nukashine to Pi House for your party? Lewis won't speak another word to me until I've scheduled a date, and he's the only one with the formula.

By the way, that joke the Pi Mus were circulating about him got back to us. Not funny. His Nukashine is going to make your "eviction party" the event of the year. So no more cheap jokes at his expense, okay?

Judy Lowell
Eta Psi Chapter President

Ted!

I have some great news! Professor O. has a job for me! She says I'm a good fit, but the intern application requires two peer recommendations. The other Charlie wrote me one, and I was wondering if you could write me one! You said writing isn't your best skill, but I think you're pretty good! I even try to write like you sometimes! Do you think you could say some cool words about me?

I tried to ask in person but you were always hungover. That's boss! I just hope you read this soon. Getting this internship would mean a lot to me AND my mom!

Thanks Ted!

I forgot to include my name. Imagine me forgetting something that important on such an important request!

I forgot my name again. It's CHARLIE.

Are you even reading these messages, Ted? I know you're not, yet here I am, still typing them up for you. So you know, I also typed up a recommendation for Charlie in your name.

I joined Pi Kappa Mu because I wanted to make the most of my college years, and you guys know how to live it up if nothing else. After blacking out four nights in a row, I realized that's ALL you know how to do.

I'm no saint, but I care about the Pi Mus. I can't tell if you don't because you're a jerk, or because you're just too dumb.

So I'm leaving. I want to stop being selfish and try to do something good for the world. My Humanities grade seems a good place to start. Enjoy your party.

See you never,
Daley

Pi Kappa Mu Greek Society
Monthly Newsletter for September 2077

Greetings, fellow Pi Mu brothers! Here are your monthly updates:

1. The so-called "authorities" at Vault-Tec U have invented a bunch of totally false charges against us because they don't like how hard we PARTY!! So what does this mean to YOU? Absolutely nothing!! We're trashing their notices and we have this great plan to totally not be involved with the school anymore (in a foolproof legal way) and we'll basically own the Pi House then! How cool is that??

2. Look, we all know the Etpets are total loser eggheads, but some of them are pretty cool too! ESPECIALLY the ones that just opened this hot new speakeasy near campus! But they won't tell me where it is or how to get in until you guys stop being jerks to them. ALL OF YOU! This means you too, Badger. It's moonshine made with NUKA-COLA! Don't mess this up for me.

3. Prank of the Month: Last month we stole the head off that stupid Vault Boy statue on campus, and that really peeved off "the man"! Let's get creative this month! We were supposed to raid the Etpet house but that's definitely not happening now, so drop some ideas my way! If your idea involves fire, KEEP IT TO YOURSELF THIS TIME!

That does it for this month, Pi Mus! And as always, party every day!

Greetings brothers! Below I have a few bylaw amendments to propose.

(I'm pretty sure we didn't have any bylaws before, so I'm amending that we have a few of them now.)

Pi Kappa Mu Bylaw Amendment Proposal:

Amendment I: Dues. We have to pay them now. I've picked up the booze tab for our last three parties and it's really bumming me out.

Amendment II: No pranking other Pi Mus. We have plenty of people to prank out there without pranking our own people. Besides, we're too busy hazing our pledges to prank them on top of that. We're spreading ourselves too thin.

Amendment III: Inviting outsiders to official Pi House events. This is generally allowed, BUT with a few ground rules. No eggheads, buzzkills, chem heads, mooches, or old people allowed. We're throwing a party, not taking a train to squaresville.

Amendment IIII: No climbing on the roof. I thought this was also obvious but you dummies made me put it in writing.

Amendment IIIII: Copy more stuff from another frat's bylaws. This is more of a "to do" than an amendment I guess.

All in favor - come find me and say Aye or something.
All opposed - keep it to yourself!