Underworld is one of several locations featuring dynamic conversations in Fallout 3, using a distinct system:
- All characters use a HELLO based on their faction, location, and/or target
- The game then selects the response depending on the target NPC's faction and location and/or the speaker's identity
- If that NPC has a special routine, it can also select that one
The page has been ordered in what seemed to be the most sensible way, based on the Underworld Conversations (ConvUnderworld) quest. Each header refers to the NPC who initiates the conversation. Each conversation has been given an arbitrary number for convenience. If there are multiple lines listed next to a single speaker, assume that they are randomized unless otherwise specified.
Ahzrukhal[]
| Speaker | Conversation | |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Ahzrukhal | Charon. Charon! Look at me when I'm talking to you! |
| Charon. Charon! Look at me when I'm talking to you! | ||
| Charon... come here. I want to talk to you about something... | ||
| Charon. Come here. Now. | ||
| Charon | What? | |
| <grunts> | ||
| Ahzrukhal | I want you to keep a closer eye on these bastards. I caught one of them trying to swipe some booze from the shelf when my back was turned. | |
| Look, despite all the grunting, I know you're not stupid. You need to start acting like you have half a brain and keep a closer watch on things. | ||
| I'm getting a bit tired of having to do my job and your job. Watch these drunks more carefully. I'm getting sick of my stock disappearing. | ||
| What do I have you here for? To watch the bar, right? So get your thumb out of your ass and start paying attention to what's going on around you. | ||
| Are you blind? Never mind, don't bother grunting a response. You need to watch these assholes better. Some stuff has turned up missing. | ||
| Charon | <growls> Whatever. | |
| <grumbles> Yeah. Sure. | ||
| ... got it. | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| Sure. | ||
| Ahzrukhal | I don't know how many times I've told you about this. I don't want to have to do it again. | |
| I'm getting tired of having this conversation. Let's not go through it again. Got me?[Note 1] | ||
| I'm glad we had this little talk. | ||
| You'd best unfuck yourself, Charon. Or I'll just go ahead and 'cancel' our contract. | ||
| Good. I'm glad we're clear on that. | ||
| 2 | Ahzrukhal | Charon. Charon! Look at me when I'm talking to you! |
| Charon. Charon! Look at me when I'm talking to you! | ||
| Charon... come here. I want to talk to you about something... | ||
| Charon. Come here. Now. | ||
| Charon | Yeah? | |
| What now? | ||
| What? | ||
| Ahzrukhal | That little chore, the one we talked about yesterday. I trust that it won't be something I have to hear about again, right? | |
| I gave you an assignment. I don't have to worry about it not being done, do I? You did do what I asked, yes? | ||
| I want to make sure that we're not going to have another disagreement. You did what I asked you to do, didn't you? | ||
| I've got something on my mind, Charon. I had asked you to do something and you never reported back to me. You did it, didn't you? | ||
| Charon | Yeah. | |
| It's done. | ||
| Did it. Done. | ||
| Already done. | ||
| Yep. | ||
| Ahzrukhal | Good. You know how I hate to worry. | |
| I'm glad to hear it. I knew I could trust you. | ||
| Good, Charon. Good. I know you wouldn't lie to me. You aren't that stupid. Hahahaha! | ||
| That's my boy. | ||
| Good dog. Keep it up and maybe I'll give you a treat. | ||
| Excellent. I'll have another task for you soon. | ||
| 3 | Ahzrukhal | How's everything? Enjoying your drinks? |
| Yes, yes, how is everyone doing? Everything alright? Do you need anything else? | ||
| Underworld resident | "Ehn. It's okay. | |
| It's not bad. Not bad at all. | ||
| It's great! This must be that stuff that Quinn brought back. | ||
| Each one is better than the last. | ||
| It's better than that watered-down piss they pour over at Carol's. | ||
| Liquids aren't usually the way I prefer to fly, but it's not bad. | ||
| That's a good drink, there's no denying it. | ||
| Yes, I am, Mr. Ahzrukhal. |
Notes[]
| # | Notes, conditions, context |
|---|---|
| 1 | Ahzrukhal's first two prompts are not duplicates; they have different voice files. |
| 3 |  Ahzrukhal's prompts do not have any voice files. Furthermore, the responses are not connected to the prompts, so they cannot play.
|
Mister Crowley[]
| Speaker | Conversation | |
|---|---|---|
| 4 | Mister Crowley | Greta, bring me some of that slop that you call food. |
| Greta, bring me something. Preferably something dead this time. And not glowing. | ||
| Greta | Not this again. Look, I've been telling you every day for ten years, if you don't like it, go make your own damn food. | |
| If you don't like what we have, Crowley, you can always go hunt rats in the tunnels with the ferals. | ||
| Mister Crowley | If I thought there was a chance that it would be better than this slop, I'd do that. But as it stands, this is my only option. | |
| Very funny, Greta. I'd happily prepare my own meals if I could ever get anything was wasn't moldy, rotten, or still squirming. | ||
| Greta | Well then. What'll it be, Crowley? | |
| Looks like you're stuck eating our slop then. Now what do you want? | ||
| Well then, what are you complaining about? Oh, I forgot, you're a bitter bastard. Just tell me what you want to eat. | ||
| Mister Crowley | Fine. I suppose I can choke down some of the squirrel stew.[Note 2] | |
| Very well, bring me some of that disgusting iguana. | ||
| <sigh> Fine. I'll have the... squirrel. Cooked, please. | ||
| Greta | See? I knew you'd come around. | |
| Sure. I'll get it to you as soon as I can. | ||
| You got it. |
Greta[]
| Speaker | Conversation | |
|---|---|---|
| 5 | Greta | Carol, why don't you get some rest? You look so tired. |
| Why don't you go get some sleep, Carol. I can manage things up here for a while.[Note 3] | ||
| Carol | What now? Oh, I'm sorry Greta, I didn't see you there... did you need something? | |
| Hrm? Oh, hey Greta... what were you saying? | ||
| Greta | I was saying that you need to get some rest. You're falling asleep up here. You never sleep through a whole night anymore. I hear you getting up. | |
| <sighs> I was saying that you need to get some rest, Carol. You hardly ever sleep at night, don't think that I haven't noticed. | ||
| Carol | Oh, Greta, you worry too much. I'm fine, I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind. It'll pass. Nothing to worry about. | |
| There's nothing to worry about, Greta. You're so sweet, always thinking about me. But I'm fine, I promise. | ||
| Greta | If you say so, Carol. | |
| I want to believe you, Carol. I really do. | ||
| 6 | Greta | Hey, are you okay? You're not looking so good. |
| Carol, honey, I'm worried about you. Are you alright? | ||
| Carol | What? Oh, I'm fine, Greta. I'm just fine, miles away, you know? | |
| Oh, Greta, baby. You don't need to worry about me, I was just lost in my thoughts. You know how it is. | ||
| Greta | It's more than that, Carol, you've been moping around here for... I don't know how long. The customers have even started to notice. | |
| C'mon, Carol. It's me, I can see through you. It's gotten so bad that the customers have started to notice. | ||
| Carol | Oh, the customers are fine. So long as they've got you to being them food and drinks, they couldn't care less. | |
| They don't need to worry about me, Greta, and neither do you. I'll be okay. | ||
| Greta | I'm worried about you, that's all. Just think about what I said. | |
| You know that I can't stop worrying about you. Just think about it, okay? | ||
| 7 | Greta | Carol... |
| Carol | Hey, Greta. How's my girl? | |
| Hello, Greta. You always manage to make me feel a little better. | ||
| 8 | Greta | Hey, hon. Do you need anything? |
| Do you need anything else? |
Notes[]
| # | Notes, conditions, context |
|---|---|
| 6 | In Carol's last response set, her second response ("They don't need to worry") has the Goodbye flag checked, which will end the conversation before reaching Greta's last response. This seems to be unintentional, as that response is still set up to continue to Greta's last line.
|
| 8 | These lines bridge into the food conversations between Greta and generic Underworld residents, which are transcribed here below, by skipping the Underworld residents' first line and having Greta speak twice in a row. |
Patchwork[]
| Speaker | Conversation | |
|---|---|---|
| 9 | Patchwork | Dammit... it was attached a second ago... Hey! Robot! You seen any, you know, toes around here? |
| Hey, robot, have you seen any toes laying around here? | ||
| Cerberus | Scanning... target identified as "Patchwork". Hello, Patchwork. I trust that all is well with you.[Note 4] | |
| Scanning... target identified as "Patchwork". Hello, Patchwork. How are you?[Note 4][Note 5] | ||
| Patchwork | That ain't what ... I asked you, stupid... stupid robot.[Note 6] | |
| I'm doin' fine... fine indeed. How are you? ... I said how are you? What? Are you ignoring me? Stupid asshole robot...[Note 6] | ||
| 10 | Patchwork | Good to see you, Doctor Barrows. |
| Hey there, Doc. | ||
| Doc Barrows! Good to see you! | ||
| If it isn't ol' Doc Barrows. Hey there, Doc! | ||
| Doctor Barrows... | ||
| Doctor Barrows | I hope that everything is staying where it should be, Patchwork. | |
| Stop by the clinic, Patchwork. Greta found one of your fingers over in Carol's Place. |
Winthrop[]
| Speaker | Conversation | |
|---|---|---|
| 11 | Winthrop | Ahzrukhal, boy, I want to talk to you. |
| Boy, you and I need to talk. | ||
| Ahzrukhal, boy, I need to talk to you. | ||
| Ahzrukhal | I'm not your "boy", Winthrop. What do you want? | |
| Oh, look, if it isn't my favorite pain in the ass. What can I do for you, Winthrop? | ||
| Have you fixed that other fridge for me yet? Hrm? No? Than I've got no time for you, Winthrop. We'll talk later.[Note 7] | ||
| No time to talk right now, Winthrop. Come back later.[Note 7] | ||
| Winthrop | It's about Patchwork. You need to stop feeding him booze, Ahzrukhal. The boy can barely stand most of the time, and you just keep serving him. | |
| I want you to stop giving Patchwork booze when he's already drunk. You're gonna kill the boy. | ||
| Ahzrukhal | He's a big boy, Winthrop. As long as he's got the caps, I'm going to sell him booze. I'm here to make money, not to babysit. | |
| Stop serving him? This is a bar. How am I supposed to make money if I'm not serving booze? If he's got money, I'll give him whatever he asks for. | ||
| Winthrop | And wouldn't it be a shame if your ventilation went down and all of your customers went to Carol's? Just think about it, Ahzrukhal. | |
| Sure, sure, you're here to make money, and I fix all of your crap so that you can keep right on making that money. What would happen if I stopped? | ||
| Ahzrukhal | Save your threats, old man. You don't have the balls. | |
| Don't you threaten me. You wouldn't dare do that, these people would have your head. | ||
| Winthrop | I'm not threatening you, I'm just sayin'. No equipment. No business. Either way, my problem is solved. Think about it. We'll talk later. | |
| Oh, you'd be surprised. I may be old, but this place'd shut down without me. Just think about what I said, we'll talk later. | ||
| 12 | Winthrop | Mr. Ahzrukhal... |
| Excuse me, Mr. Ahzrukhal... | ||
| Mr. Ahzrukhal. | ||
| Hello, Ahzrukhal. | ||
| Ahzrukhal... | ||
| Ahzrukhal | No time to talk now, Winthrop. Too busy. | |
| Hello, Winthrop. Have a seat, I'll be with you in a minute. | ||
| 13 | Winthrop | All clear, Cerberus? |
| Have you seen anything unusual, Cerberus? | ||
| Cerberus | Alert status: null. Patrol uninterrupted.[Note 4] | |
| Threat level alpha. Disturbance level zero.[Note 4] | ||
| Winthrop | No news is good news, eh, Cerberus? What about you, how are you doing? | |
| Well, that's good. That's good to hear, Cerberus. Anything else going on? | ||
| Cerberus | Unit functional. Patrol priority one.[Note 4] | |
| Command not parsed. Please restate command.[Note 4] | ||
| Winthrop | <sighs>You're a terrible conversationalist, Cerberus."' | |
| I really need to teach you a thing or two about talking to people. | ||
| You really suck at conversation, robot. | ||
| 14 | Winthrop | Cerberus, run your diagnostic program. Code 662-847-B. |
| Cerberus, you're still making that god awful noise. Go ahead and run that diagnostic program. Code 662-847-B. | ||
| Winthrop | Unit diagnostics system compiling... diagnostics system ready. Running level 2 diagnostics... complete. Report prepared. | |
| Unit diagnostics... running... running... complete. Report prepared. | ||
| Winthrop | Well, give the report, you old bucket of bolts. I haven't got all day. | |
| Well? Do you think I asked just out of curiosity? Give me the report, dammit. | ||
| Winthrop | Unit weapon system 2B ammunition level low. Please service at earliest convenience. | |
| Unit cognition system experiencing fluctuating contact. Unable to determine source of failure | ||
| Unit target recognition system contains failure of an unknown class. Advise immediate unit service for repair. | ||
| Unit locomotion system contains a class two failure. Currently operable. Failure will escalate to class one with a 47% probability. | ||
| Winthrop | Dammit. I thought I fixed that. No time now, resume your patrol Cerberus. I'll deal with it later. | |
| Damn worthless... it never ends with you, does it? Just resume your patrol, I'll take you offline for service later. | ||
| For Christ's sake, that's the fourth time this month. Just go back on patrol, I'm sure you'll be fine. | ||
| 15 | Winthrop | "Why, hello there, Cerberus. |
| Cerberus! How are you? Programming holding up? | ||
| Cerberus | Scanning... target identified as 'Winthrop'. Hello, Winthrop. How are you?"[Note 7][Note 4] | |
| Scanning... target identified as 'Winthrop'. Hello, Winthrop. Que pasa?"[Note 7][Note 4] | ||
| Scanning... target identified as 'Winthrop'. Hello, Winthrop. How is you- you- your wife?"[Note 4] | ||
| Winthrop | She's dead, you damn fool robot. Thanks for reminding me. | |
| She's dead, you know that. Lousy old data tapes... | ||
| 16 | Winthrop | Patches. Patches! Hey, buddy, stay with me here for a second. We need to talk. |
| Hey, Patches. Patchwork, man. Pay attention, I need to talk to you. | ||
| Patchwork | Huh? Oh! Hey Winthrop! How're... how're you? I didn't see- see you there! What's up? | |
| What... what do you mean? I'm not... I'm not... I'm not even drunk right now! | ||
| Winthrop | C'mon, I'm worried that I'm going to find you dead one of these days. Listen to yourself. You can barely talk. You're a mess, man. | |
| This is what I mean, Patches. You're a mess. I'm worried about you, man. I really am. You're falling apart. | ||
| Patchwork | Oh... I get it! Ha! Like my name, right? Good 'ol... good ol' Patchwork, always leaving hit bits around town...
| |
| Hahaha! That's... that's funny! Did I ever tell you about how I got my name? | ||
| Winthrop | Alright, I can't even talk to you about this right now. Let's just deal with it later. | |
| Never mind, man. Let's just talk about this later. | ||
| Patchwork | Oh, okay. Maybe.. maybe we can get a drink after you're done working!
| |
| Okay... bye Winthrop! Let's get a drink later and... and hang out...[Note 8] | ||
| 17 | Winthrop | Everything alright there, Patches? You don't look so good. |
| Heya, Patches. You alright, buddy? You're not lookin' so good. | ||
| Hey, Patchwork. How're you holding together? | ||
| Patchwork, buddy, how are you holding up? | ||
| Hey, Patchwork... whoa there, be careful. Are you okay? | ||
| Hello, Patchwork. | ||
| Patchwork... | ||
| Patchwork | Yeah, I'm okay, Winthrop. | |
| I'm doin' alright, Winthrop. Just having a rough day, you know? | ||
| Oh hey, Winthrop. Yeah, I'm alright, I just.. err... dropped something around here. Don't worry about me, it'll turn up. |
Notes[]
| # | Notes, conditions, context |
|---|---|
| 11 | This conversation will never happen in-game, as Ahzrukhal never leaves the Ninth Circle and Winthrop never leaves the concourse. |
| 12 | This conversation will never happen in-game, as Ahzrukhal never leaves the Ninth Circle and Winthrop never leaves the concourse. |
| 14 |  This conversation is unfinished. The second and fourth response sets should be spoken by Cerberus but are instead spoken by Winthrop. Winthrop has voice files for the prompts and all of Cerberus' responses, but he has none for his own responses.
|
Underworld residents[]
These lines can be used by any member of the UnderworldGhoulFaction technical faction: all generic Underworld residents, plus Willow and Snowflake. However, Willow will never be a part of these conversations because her daily routine keeps her away from Underworld at all times. Furthermore, because Snowflake never leaves the Underworld concourse, he is also ineligible for any conversations in the Ninth Circle or Carol's Place. As such, Willow will not be counted as a possible speaker, and Snowflake will only be counted as a possible speaker for conversations that are not restricted to those locations; any conversations with Ahzrukhal, Carol, or Greta are location-restricted because they do not leave their respective bars.
| Speaker | Conversation | |
|---|---|---|
| 18 | Underworld resident | Oh, oh! Mr Ahzrukhal, I want to ask you something. |
| Ahzrukhal | Yes, friend? What brings you to me today? Come on now... spit it out. I haven't got all day. | |
| What is it? I'm very busy, you know. | ||
| You seem so nervous... relax. It's only me, there's nothing to be afraid of. | ||
| Underworld resident | I was wondering if I could get... you know... one of the special drinks. | |
| I need some of the special stock. You know, the stuff from behind the counter... | ||
| I'm all out of the stuff you sold me yesterday. I need more. Fast. | ||
| Ahzrukhal | Ah, yes! Of course, of course, my friend. See me later tonight. We'll make sure that you have all the pick-me-ups that you need. | |
| Shhh, say no more. See me later, I'll make sure that you want for nothing. | ||
| No need to be shy, my friend. I'll make sure that you have everything that you ever need, so long as you have the caps to pay for it, that is. | ||
| Underworld resident | Oh, thank you! Thank you, Mr. Ahzrukhal! Thank you so much! | |
| Oh, Mr. Ahzrukhal! I can't thank you enough! It's... it's been so hard lately... | ||
| I... I'll try to wait. You are good to us, Mr. Ahzrukhal. You really are. Thank you. | ||
| Ahzrukhal | Don't mention it, my friend. It's what I'm here for. | |
| It's nothing, I simply want to ensure that all my friends in Underworld are as happy as can be. | ||
| No thanks are wanted or asked for, it is my humble duty to ensure that you get what you need. | ||
| 19 | Underworld resident | "Oh, hey... Mr. <coughs> .... Mr. Ahzrukhal... hi. |
| Ahzrukhal | Whoa, whoa there. Take your illness away from me. | |
| Take a step back, there. I don't want your slime on me. Tell you what, another drink should clear that cough up. | ||
| You should see someone about that cough. In the mean time, keep your distance. | ||
| Sounds like you need some of Akzurkhal's special cough medicine.
| ||
| You might want to see Doc Barrows about that cough. But have another drink before you do.[Note 9] | ||
| Shame the doc is dead, he could've done something about that cough. Ah well, just have another drink. It'll go away.[Note 10] | ||
| Poor doc Barrows, you people are falling apart without him, aren't you?[Note 10] | ||
| 20 | Underworld resident | Hey, Mr. Ahzrukhal... |
| Mr. Ahzrukhal... | ||
| Excuse me, Mr. Ahzrukhal... | ||
| Ahzrukhal | Welcome! Sit. Drink. Pay. | |
| Get yourself another drink, you look entirely too sober. | ||
| My friend, you are not drinking nearly enough. | ||
| If you're sober enough to say hello, you're far too sober. | ||
| Less talking, more drinking. | ||
| You look like someone who needs another drink. | ||
| 21 | Underworld resident | "Hey, Carol. You okay? You don't look so good. |
| Carol | Oh, don't worry about me. You just go enjoy your drink.[Note 11] | |
| No need to worry about me, dear. You just go enjoy your food. | ||
| Oh, don't worry yourself over me. I'm just fine. Go talk to your friends. | ||
| I've been better, but I'm fine. No need to worry. | ||
| Oh, I'm doing alright, I suppose. | ||
| I'm fine, I'm just fine. Thank you for your concern. I'm fine. | ||
| 22 | Underworld resident | Hi, Carol. |
| Hello, Carol. It's been pretty quiet around here lately. | ||
| Hi, Carol. You know, things seem a little quiet around here. | ||
| Carol | Good morning... I think. Is it morning? | |
| If you need anything, just ask Greta. | ||
| Hello. How is everything? | ||
| Hi there, enjoying yourself? | ||
| 23 | Underworld resident | Hey, Greta, can I get a drink? |
| I'm thirsty, Greta. | ||
| Greta, I have a thirst. | ||
| Greta, you got a second? I wanted a drink. | ||
| Hey Greta, can I get a drink? | ||
| I need a drink, Greta. | ||
| Greta, I'm still sober. Fix it, please. | ||
| Greta | Sure hon, what do you need? | |
| Yeah, no problem. What's your poison? | ||
| Of course, what's up? | ||
| No problem, drunky. What do you need? | ||
| That's my job, what do you need? | ||
| No problem at all. What can I get for you? | ||
| That's what I'm here for. | ||
| Underworld resident | Give me a beer. | |
| Beer. | ||
| I'll take a scotch. | ||
| Scotch, straight up. In fact, just give me the bottle. | ||
| If you've got any more of that scotch laying around, I'll take some of that. | ||
| Bring me some of that whisky, you know, the stuff that Quinn got from that guy up north. | ||
| Bring me something brown and alcoholic. | ||
| Kentucky straight. You remember Kentucky? Nah, you're too young. | ||
| How about some of that whiskey? | ||
| I'll take some of that vodka, if you have it. | ||
| I really don't care, just make sure it has liquor in it. | ||
| Bring me something warm and painful. | ||
| I don't care, really. Whatever takes the pain away. | ||
| Greta | Sure, if you don't mind waiting a few minutes. | |
| We just got some more in, I'll grab that for you in a minute. | ||
| I think we can do that. | ||
| Sure, no problem. I'll get it for you in a second. | ||
| One more, comin' up. | ||
| Sure, no problem.[Note 7] | ||
| You're really going for a record, aren't you?[Note 7] | ||
| Sure, no problem... drunk...[Note 7] | ||
| Alright, but if you pass out, I'm just going to roll you into the fire.[Note 7] | ||
| You should take it easy on this stuff. You know that you get all drippy when you're drunk.[Note 7] | ||
| Yeah, no problem.[Note 7] | ||
| You got it.[Note 7] | ||
| Underworld resident | I'll just be here sobering up until you get back. | |
| Relief can't come soon enough. | ||
| Thank you, Greta. | ||
| Thanks, Greta. | ||
| 24 | Underworld resident | Brains... I mean "food". I'm hungry, Greta. |
| Well, I'm not dead yet, so I might as well eat something. | ||
| I want some food. | ||
| Greta, can I get some food over here? | ||
| Greta, can you get me something to eat? | ||
| I'm starving, Greta. Help me out here. | ||
| Nng. Hungry. | ||
| Greta | Hungry again? What do you need? | |
| Everyone's gotta eat, I suppose. What'll you have? | ||
| Just can't get enough, can you? | ||
| Get it while it's lukewarm. | ||
| Yeah, hon, what do you need? | ||
| What do you want? | ||
| Yeah, sure, what do you need? | ||
| That's what I'm here for. | ||
| Sure, kitchen's open. What do you want? | ||
| No refunds if you don't keep it down this time. Now, what can I get you? | ||
| Underworld resident | Got any more of that Squirrel-on-a-Stick? | |
| I'll take some of those Squirrel Bits, if you have any more. | ||
| You got any of Carol's special Squirrel Stew? | ||
| You ever wonder where all those iguanas come from? I do. I guess it don't matter, 'cause they sure are tasty. You got any? | ||
| I could really go for some Iguana. You got any left? | ||
| Doc says I should eat more Mutfruit. You guys got any? | ||
| You got any of those Mutfruits that Quinn brought back? | ||
| Sure could go for some squirrel, if you have any more. | ||
| Hrm... I haven't had noodles for a long time, you still makin' those? | ||
| I could go for some noodles. You got any? | ||
| Greta | I'm not sure, I'll go check. | |
| Sit tight, I'll find out for you as soon as I can. | ||
| I'll go have a look. | ||
| I can go find out for you. | ||
| Yeah... sure. It's your stomach. I'll go find out. | ||
| You must be feeling brave. I'll go have a look. | ||
| Wow. Well, okay. I'll go have a look. | ||
| Underworld resident | Oh, awesome. Thank you, Greta. I'm starving. | |
| Thank you, Greta. | ||
| I'll be here. | ||
| I'll try not to starve before you get back. | ||
| Thanks, Greta. | ||
| 25 | Underworld resident (1) Snowflake |
This place is going to shit, have you noticed? |
| You know, Winthrop does his best -- he's a great mechanic, but he just can't keep up. This place is falling apart! | ||
| Winthrop needs some help. I mean, it's not like he has any time to train anyone to fix this shit around here. | ||
| Every day, there's something new: the generators go down, the water has funk in it, the air filters die... | ||
| The air is off in the common house again. It stinks of sweaty death down there. I swear, every day it's something new. | ||
| Underworld resident (2) Snowflake |
This place is coming down around our ears. | |
| Jesus, this place is falling apart. | ||
| Poor Winthrop, the guy really needs some help. | ||
| One mechanic just isn't enough to keep this place going, I guess. | ||
| If I knew how, I'd give Winthrop a hand, but I have no idea how all of this old junk works. | ||
| It a miracle that some of this shit works in the first place. I guess it's just a matter of time... | ||
| 26 | Underworld resident (1) | Carol's changed at lot lately. Have you noticed? She's more... quiet. |
| Carol just seems so sad these days... | ||
| Carol used to love this place, now it's like she hardly even cares. Have you noticed that? | ||
| Underworld resident (2) | Yeah, now that you mention it. I wonder what's going on... | |
| Haven't noticed, don't care. | ||
| I don't really pay attention. I only come here because I can't stand the Ninth Circle. That place is just nasty. Even I think so. | ||
| Actually, I haven't noticed. At all. | ||
| 27 | Underworld resident (1) | Did you hear that? |
| That sound just won't stop. Do you hear that? | ||
| Hey, did I tell you about... wait... do you hear that? | ||
| Do you smell something strange? | ||
| I keep smelling this strange smell... it's like... onions. You remember onions? Yeah. It's like that. Do you smell it? | ||
| What the hell is that smell? I mean, it's not bad, it's just... I don't know... do you smell that? | ||
| Underworld resident (2) | Not, not really. | |
| What are you talking about? | ||
| Not since the last time you asked. | ||
| Uhm... no. Are you okay? | ||
| Yeah, I wonder what it could be... | ||
| Yeah, that's really weird. Oh well, it's gone now. | ||
| 28 | Underworld resident (1) | Do you smell something strange? |
| I keep smelling this strange smell... it's like... onions. You remember onions? Yeah. It's like that. Do you smell it? | ||
| What the hell is that smell? I mean, it's not bad, it's just... I don't know... do you smell that? | ||
| Underworld resident (2) | No, not really. | |
| I haven't been able to smell anything for about thirty years now. | ||
| Are you joking? I lost my sense of smell before you even crinkled up. | ||
| Yeah... kinda like onions... that's so strange... | ||
| 29 | Underworld resident (1) | Have you tried the new whisky he's stocking? It's... it's something special... |
| This drink is foul. And that's a Ghoul calling something foul. | ||
| Oh man... this is nasty, but it does the job. | ||
| This vodka really sucks. | ||
| Have you tried this? It isn't good, but it's strong. | ||
| Christ, the beer in this place tastes like piss... | ||
| You know, the cider isn't half bad... for malted rat piss. | ||
| Underworld resident (2) | Yeah. I ordered it yesterday... I found one of Patchwork's fingers in it. I think I'll avoid it. | |
| Are you kidding? I wouldn't feed that shit to the dog. | ||
| I'd rather drink malted rat piss. | ||
| It's not half bad, I guess. | ||
| I don't even know what good drinks taste like anymore. | ||
| I've forgotten the taste of good liquor. | ||
| 30 | Underworld resident (1) | ...buncha goddamn worthless walking corpses... |
| Jesus Christ... 123 years... what's the fucking point? | ||
| Some days, I just wish that someone would come through here and put a bullet in all of our heads... | ||
| Nothing but pain and misery... | ||
| There's got to be something more than this... | ||
| Yeah, I'm just a drunk zombie... what good am I? | ||
| The best I can hope for is that the liquor kills me before some mutated beast turns me into a snack. | ||
| If there were a God, I'd pray for death. | ||
| All I ask is to go quietly. And soon. | ||
| Underworld resident (2) | Dude. Harshing the buzz. Minus five points. | |
| We'd probably all be better off if the Brotherhood came through here and "purged" us. | ||
| Yeah... every time you start feeling good, life kicks you in the ass again. | ||
| Go away, I'm trying to enjoy myself here. | ||
| Well, aren't you a ray of sunshine? | ||
| 31 | Underworld resident (1) Snowflake |
Hey, you. |
| Hey. | ||
| Hi. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| Underworld resident (2) Snowflake |
What's new with you? | |
| S'up? | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| Hey, what's up? | ||
| Hey, how's it going? | ||
| How're you? | ||
| Hey, have you heard any news? | ||
| Some people are talking, what have you heard? | ||
| I'm starting to get that funny feeling again, have you heard about anything that might be going on? | ||
| Hey. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| Hello. | ||
| Hi. | ||
| Good morning. | ||
| Good morning... I think. Is it morning? I can never tell. | ||
| Mornin'. | ||
| Evenin'. Not that you can really tell down here. | ||
| Nice night. | ||
| 32 | Underworld resident (1) Snowflake |
Hey. How's it going? |
| How's it going? | ||
| Underworld resident (2) Snowflake |
What do you think? | |
| Are you kidding? I'm a zombie who lives underground. I think you can guess how I am. | ||
| Fucking terrible, but I won't bother you with the details. | ||
| Look at this place. Look at me. How do you think I am? | ||
| About as good as can be expected. | ||
| I can't complain. Actually, I can, but I won't. | ||
| I'm alright, I suppose. | ||
| Meh. Been better. | ||
| 33 | Underworld resident (1) Snowflake |
Hey, you. What's new? |
| Hey, man. What's happening? | ||
| Long time, no see. What's going on with you? | ||
| Hey, what's up? | ||
| It's been a while, what've you been up to? | ||
| What's happening? | ||
| Underworld resident (2) Snowflake |
I'm still a Ghoul. That's what's happening. | |
| I'm keeping it together. You know how it is. | ||
| Other than that thing with the Radroaches the other day, nothing at all. | ||
| Nada. | ||
| Nothing at all. | ||
| 34 | Underworld resident (1) Snowflake |
What's going on? |
| What's the word? | ||
| What have you heard? | ||
| Underworld resident (2) Snowflake |
It's been quiet... too quiet. | |
| It's been too quiet. | ||
| I haven't heard a damn thing. | ||
| I never know what's going on. | ||
| It's been quiet lately. At least, it's been quiet around me. | ||
| Nobody tells me anything. | ||
| Nothing at all. | ||
| I haven't heard a damn thing. |
Notes[]
| # | Notes, conditions, context |
|---|---|
| 21 22 |
|
| 24 | The first prompt line has a one percent chance of occurring. |
| 25 | May only occur in the Underworld concourse. |
| 26 27 28 |
May only occur in Carol's Place. Conversation 26 can only occur if Carol is alive. |
| 29 30 |
May only occur in the Ninth Circle. |
| 31 |
|
[]
These lines can be spoken by anyone in Underworld. This includes all unique ghouls, all generic Underworld residents, and also Reilly. Cerberus can say a few of these responses, but he is not intended to, as he does not have any relevant voice files. However, there are no shared prompts that would target him either.
| Speaker | Conversation | |
|---|---|---|
| 35 | Speaker | Mr. Ahzrukhal... |
| Excuse me, Mr. Ahzrukhal... | ||
| Mr. Ahzrukhal. | ||
| Hello, Ahzrukhal. | ||
| Ahzrukhal... | ||
| Ahzrukhal | And a hello to you. | |
| And a hello to you, sir. | ||
| And a hello to you, ma'am. | ||
| 36 | Speaker | Carol... |
| Carol | Good morning... I think. Is it morning? | |
| If you need anything, just ask Greta. | ||
| Hello. How is everything? | ||
| Hi there, enjoying yourself? | ||
| 37 | Speaker | Hey, Charon. |
| I was wondering something... | ||
| Hey... uh... Charon, is it? I was... | ||
| Charon | No. | |
| Go away. | ||
| Ask Ahzrukhal. | ||
| Go sit down. | ||
| Speaker | I was just wondering if... | |
| I just wanted to know... | ||
| It's just that... | ||
| But... | ||
| Charon | No. | |
| I. Said. No. | ||
| Leave me alone. | ||
| Go. Away. | ||
| Speaker | Some people... | |
| It was just a question... | ||
| Well, sorry... | ||
| Yeah, whatever. | ||
| All right, all right, I'll just ask Ahzrukhal... | ||
| 38 | Speaker | Good to see you, Doctor Barrows. |
| Hey there, Doc. | ||
| Doc Barrows! Good to see you! | ||
| If it isn't ol' Doc Barrows. Hey there, Doc! | ||
| Doctor Barrows... | ||
| Doctor Barrows | Hello, hello. | |
| No time to talk now, stop by the clinic. | ||
| Come by the clinic some time, you're overdue for a sewing. | ||
| 39 | Speaker | Heya, Greta. |
| Morning, Greta. | ||
| Nice night, huh, Greta? | ||
| Greta... | ||
| Greta | Hey, hon. I haven't seen you in here in a while. | |
| Long time, no see. | ||
| Do you ever leave here? | ||
| Yes, yes, hello. We covered that already. | ||
| 40 | Speaker | Hello, Mister Crowley. |
| Mister Crowley, hello! | ||
| Good to see you, Mister Crowley! | ||
| Hello, Mister Crowley! Nice day, isn't it? | ||
| Mister Crowley... | ||
| Mister Crowley | Yeah, hello. Whatever. | |
| Yes, yes, hello... I don't know why everyone around here insists on being so damned friendly. | ||
| Can't you see that I'm busy? Leave me alone. | ||
| I'd be much better off if you people would just leave me alone. | ||
| Why, aren't we just the friendliest bunch of walking corpses that you ever did see? | ||
| Oh, please. | ||
| 41 | Speaker | Hey, Patchwork. How're you holding together? |
| Patchwork, buddy, how are you holding up? | ||
| Hey, Patchwork... whoa there, be careful. Are you okay? | ||
| Hello, Patchwork. | ||
| Patchwork... | ||
| Patchwork | Oh, not bad. Not bad at all. Everything's where it should be... for now. | |
| Yep. Keepin' my bits to myself for the time bein'. | ||
| Oh, hello. I'm alright. Still in one piece. Well, except for that one that got away... but I'll find it. No worries. | ||
| Haven't lost anything permanently. Not yet. | ||
| 42 | Speaker | Quinn, no one told me you were back! |
| Hey, Quinn. | ||
| Quinn... | ||
| Quinn | Hey, hello! I just got back! Good to see you! | |
| Remind me to sit you down and tell you about some of the things that I've seen.[Note 12] | ||
| I'm back! And you wouldn't believe some of the things that happened to me this time. But I can't talk now. Maybe later? | ||
| Hey there, long time, no see! I've got some good stories to tell you later! | ||
| 43 | Speaker | Hey there, Tulip. |
| Hi, Tulip! | ||
| Tulip... | ||
| Tulip | Hello! | |
| Hey, good to see you! Are you here to buy something? | ||
| Hey there, you should check out the new stuff I have at the store. | ||
| 44 | Speaker | "Hey, Winthrop. How's it going? |
| "Hey, I wanted to tell you, Patchwork got drunk last week and left his booze in the air filter... | ||
| "Winthrop, I was wondering if you could take a look at the generator down in the common area... | ||
| "Heya, Winthrop. You got a second? | ||
| "Winthrop... | ||
| Winthrop | No time, no time. Everything around here is always busted. Can't ever get a break. | |
| Nope. Not now. Too busy. | ||
| Hooo, sorry. No time to talk. The air circulation system is busted again. | ||
| I can't talk right now, the work never ends around here. | ||
| Hey, do you know how to reroute a fan belt? You know, never mind. I'll do it myself. |
Notes[]
| # | Notes, conditions, context |
|---|---|
| 35 | |
| 36 | Carol has unique responses if the speaker is Greta, listed here. |
| 38 | Doctor Barrows has unique responses if the speaker is Patchwork, listed here. |
| 41 | Patchwork has unique responses if the speaker is Winthrop, listed here. |
| 42 44 |
The prompts for these two conversations are incorrectly randomized (all of them have the Random End flag checked), which makes it so that only the first prompt can ever play. Otherwise, the conversation works as intended.
|
All characters can additionally respond with the generic line "Hey, you."
Unused[]
These two sets of responses are not used by any prompt. Their IDs indicate they would have been responses to HELLOs from Underworld residents to either Carol or Greta, or between two Underworld residents, if either Carol or Greta is dead. These are contained in the UnderworldTalkGhoulCarolsCarolDeadResponse and UnderworldTalkGhoulCarolsGretaDeadResponse topics (which are identical apart from the name).
Carol or Greta would say the following lines (though only Greta is listed as a possible speaker):
- "I'm not really ready to talk about it."[Note 13]
- "It's... it's been hard. I... I need to go..."
- "Thank you, I appreciate it. I can't talk about her. Not now."
- "I.... I can't talk about it. Not yet."
Underworld residents would say the following lines:
- "This place just isn't the same without her."
- "I don't know, maybe it's for the best. Not that I didn't love her, but this life sucks."
- "I miss her too."
- "She'll be missed."
Broken Steel[]
Broken Steel adds several sets of scripted conversations between Griffon and his audience of Underworld residents.
Sales pitches[]
These are Griffon's Aqua Cura sales pitches. They are scripted and occur in a looping fashion: Griffon will go through all twenty of his pitches before repeating any of them, though they will occur in random order, and with a randomly-selected audience response. This will repeat as long as The Amazing Aqua Cura! has not been ended with Griffon forced out of business.
| Speaker | Line |
|---|---|
| Griffon | Come one, come all! Taste the smooth succulent sensation of radiation reversing - Aqua Cura! - It's simply Amazing! |
| Step right up, step right up. One and all, and purchase the Amazing Aqua Cura. It's the answer to all your problems. Guaranteed! | |
| The Amazing Aqua Cura cures all the common ghoul ailments! Guaranteed! | |
| The Amazing Aqua Cura! Not only does it taste great, but it also reverses radiation poisoning! That's right! With each swig of pure Aqua Cura, you're one step closer to being your old self again! | |
| Are you plagued by hellacious halitosis? Extreme epidermal exfoliation? Well, friends, your days of suffering are ended! Try the Amazing Aqua Cura! Guaranteed to have you feeling better in seven days or less, or your money back! | |
| Have cap strapped friends or relatives? No need to fret. Simply sign up for our "Friends and Family Referral Program" and get deep discounts on bulk orders of the Amazing Aqua Cura! What are you waiting for? Sign up today! | |
| Wondering how it works? It's simple... Just drink one bottle with every meal, and you'll start seeing the positive effects the very next day. It's that easy. The Amazing Aqua Cura! Get yours now, while supplies last! | |
| Having trouble sleeping? Still haunted by the war? Put your mind at rest. Heat up a cup of Aqua Cura before bedtime, and sail away on sweet dreams of a brighter future. The Amazing Aqua Cura, it's like a vacation in a bottle! Guaranteed. | |
| Have you tried the Amazing Aqua Cura? All your friends and neighbors have. And you know what? THEY are ALREADY enjoying the many benefits that Aqua Cura brings. Act in the next five minutes, and new customers will get an extra bottle... for FREE! What are you waiting for?! | |
| Have a dress from before the war that's seen better days? Pour a little Aqua Cura on it, scrub vigorously with a stiff brush, and get your party on! That's right, it removes stains as well as headaches! The Amazing Aqua Cura! | |
| Having trouble seeing? Got a little something in your eye? Rinse it out with the Amazing Aqua Cura and you'll instantly SEE why it's THE ONLY product you'll ever need again. | |
| Have an oozing sore that just won't go away? Take a clean bandage, soak it in Aqua Cura, wrap it around your wound, and see your skin restore itself in just minutes! Guaranteed! | |
| Have a woman who keeps looking the other way? Slip a little Aqua Cura in her drink, be the next man she lays eyes on, and she'll be sure to fall in love with you. Just be sure you REALLY want to spend the rest of your life with her, because she'll be yours forever. Guaranteed! | |
| Having trouble concentrating? Tired of dry mouth and other side effects of Mentats? Then try the Amazing Aqua Cura! Studies have proven that 10 out of 10 drinkers of Aqua Cura do 50% better on all standardized tests! It's a scientific fact! | |
| Muscles atrophying? Getting picked on by bullies? Well fear the dark alleys no longer, friends! Drink Aqua Cura regularly and put even Grognak to shame! Men will fear you, women will love you. Guaranteed! | |
| Losing your hearing? Having trouble eavesdropping across the room? Scientific tests conclude, beyond a reasonable doubt, that rinsing out your ears each morning with Aqua Cura, guarantees your hearing will come back! It's better than a fact. It's Science! | |
| Do people call you clumsy? Do things just seem to slip out of your hands? You could be suffering from a common ailment, one of the many cured by the Amazing Aqua Cura! Drink Aqua Cura with every meal, and wash your hands and feet 10 times a day with soapy Aqua Cura... And soon you'll be doing magic tricks and juggling knives. Guaranteed! | |
| Hellacious halitosis. It's a common condition of the ghoul state. But it's not permanent. Not with Amazing Aqua Cura that is! Brush your teeth morning, afternoon, and evening, rinsing religiously with Aqua Cura, and find your breath as sweet as a spring time breeze! | |
| Extreme epidermal exfoliation. It's something we all face. Or rather, we all HAD to face in the PAST! Now, with the Amazing Aqua Cura, your days of droopy skin and gaping sores are over! Wash profusely with Aqua Cura morning and evening, or better yet, buy a 10 gallon barrel and take a bath in it... And you'll see your skin return to its natural, smooth state! It's guaranteed! | |
| Friends, have you stopped combing your hair? Afraid of pulling out the few remaining plugs? Well fear no longer! Cast your gaze upon my luxurious coiffure. And now you too can get your hair back with the Amazing Aqua Cura! Guaranteed, or your bottlecaps back! | |
| Underworld resident | Tell us MORE! |
| More! We want to hear more! | |
| Go on! Tell us what it can do! | |
| I'm definitely getting a bottle! | |
| I'm getting a case for my family. | |
| Oh wow! That sounds great! | |
| That IS Amazing![Note 14] | |
| It's unbelievable![Note 14] | |
| Whoa![Note 14] | |
| That's terrific![Note 14] | |
| Who would've thought?[Note 14] | |
| I can't believe it does ALL that! That's wonderful![Note 14] | |
| Amazing! Simply amazing.[Note 14] | |
| Wow![Note 14] |
Confession[]
This is Griffon's scripted confession if The Amazing Aqua Cura! is completed by forcing Griffon to tell the truth about Aqua Cura.
| Speaker | Line |
|---|---|
| Griffon | Ah... my um... LOYAL customers and FRIENDS! It appears I may have slightly exaggerated some of the benefits of the, uh, Amazing Aqua Cura. |
| Underworld resident (1) | What?! |
| Griffon | Aheh. |
| Underworld resident (2) | Is he saying what I think he's saying? |
| Griffon | Turns out due to ah... a bottling irregularity - aheh- rather than actual Aqua Pura... <deep breath> You've all been purchasing regular, unpurified, irradiated water. |
| Underworld resident (3) | <Gasp!> |
| Underworld resident (4) | I can't believe it. |
| Griffon | Yeah, but we're ghouls so it's not like it's hurt anybody. |
| Underworld resident (1) | He's been LYING to us! |
| Griffon | Aheheh. Wooo. Now. Before you all get upset...[Note 15] |
| Underworld resident (2) | It's a little late for that. |
| Griffon | I'd like to point out something to you folks, that you might be overlooking in your current state of rage - aheh - You've all seen an actual improvement in your lives. Granted, it's not due to any inherent -material- property of the water. |
| Underworld resident (4) | Lies! All lies! |
| Griffon | BUT! Due to your BELIEF in the transmuting power of the AMAZING Aqua Cura, you have ALL experienced renewed hope! |
| Underworld resident (1) | He's made fools of us! |
| Griffon | And for that, I trust you will remain grateful. |
| Underworld resident (4) | "Grateful?" Really? |
| Griffon | Aheheh. |
| Underworld resident (3) | I want my money back! |
| Griffon | And, as I've said with each and every purchase: "All sales are final." Eheh. |
| Underworld resident (4) | That's it. Get him! |
| Griffon | I can assure you, ladies and gentlemen, that violence won't be necessary. I'll just pack up my things and be going now. |
| Underworld resident (4) | Kill him! Kill the lying two faced bastard! |
| Griffon | I've made a huge mistake. |
Notes[]
- ↑ In the voice line, Ahzrukhal excludes the word "having."
- ↑ In the voice line, Mister Crowley says "guess" instead of "suppose."
- ↑ In the voice line, Carol does not say the word "go."
- ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 4.5 4.6 4.7 4.8 This line does not have a voice file.
- ↑ This line is bugged and will never work, because it targets Winthrop instead of Patchwork.
- ↑ 6.0 6.1 This line cannot play because the previous responses do not correctly connect to it.
- ↑ 7.00 7.01 7.02 7.03 7.04 7.05 7.06 7.07 7.08 7.09 7.10 This line will end the conversation after it finishes.
- ↑ In the voice line, Patchwork says "have" instead of "get."
- ↑ This line can only play if Doc Barrows is alive.
- ↑ 10.0 10.1 This line can only play if Doc Barrows is dead.
- ↑ In the voice line, Carol omits the word "you."
- ↑ In the voice line, Quinn omits the word "about."
- ↑ In the voice line, the word "really" is omitted.
- ↑ 14.0 14.1 14.2 14.3 14.4 14.5 14.6 14.7 Cannot be used as a response for the first three lines above.
- ↑ In the voiceline, Griffon says "before you get all upset."