Prepare for the Future

• Narrator: Hey Jimmy. Are you tired of bullies pushing you around?
  
• Jimmy: Boy am I!
  
• Narrator: What if you could get rid of them forever?
  
• [The bully disappears into a cloud of smoke]
  
• Jimmy: Geez mister!
  
• Narrator: You see, Jimmy, our government has bullies too.
  
• Jimmy: Wow, really?
  
• Narrator: That's right. Which is why we've developed some whiz bang new weapons, so bullies around the world never bother us again.
  
• Jimmy: Huh, I think I get it.
  
• Narrator: Well Jimmy, maybe you should just see for yourself.
  
• [A Fat Man tactical nuclear catapult appears in Jimmy's arms]
  
• Jimmy: Boy! Thanks mister.
  
• Narrator: Careful there sport.
  
• [The camera shakes as an explosion happens just off screen]
  
• Narrator: The Fat Man tactical nuclear catapult. Enlist now and demo one today. Are you ready to experience the ultimate in military combat? That's right. It's your chance to test the Fatman nuclear catapult. Just spin the wheel to select which bully to blow up.

Vault-Tec presents:

Growing... growing... growing up!

You're growing up. And other things are changing too. You know what that means.

Pip-Boy 3000: Part of your life.

With Pip-Boy all life's answers are in sight.

Pip-Boy 3000: Part of your life.

Pip-Boy 3000: Part of your life.

With Pip-Boy all life's answers are in sight.

That's right!

Vault-Tec presents: tomorrow's technology today.

At Vault-Tec, we're more than just America's first choice in Vault technology. Thanks to military science, we're also your first choice in personal defense. Say hello to V.A.T.S. and say goodbye to any post nuclear nuisance. Using advanced real-time tactical imagery, V.A.T.S. scans the threat, pinpointing vulnerable areas, calculating success potential, and increasing strategic decisiveness. In other words, V.A.T.S. lets you pause for a moment and make Mister Scary go away. With V.A.T.S., personal defense is a snap.

That's the Vault-Tec Assisted Targeting System. Just one more way Vault-Tec is preparing you and your family for the future.

• Narrator: Traffic is terrible and getting worse every day. Go Metro. Avoid pollution, congestion. It's the smart way. Remember, on Sundays everyone rides free. And now, meet the Metro Protectron.
  
• Protectron: Tickets please.
  
• Narrator: Metro's newest answer to your commuting calamity.
  
• Protectron: Tickets please.
  
• Narrator: He's programmed for speed, efficiency, and friendliness.
  
• Protectron: Good morning. It's a great day.
  
• Narrator: See why the Metro Protectron makes you commute faster and safer.
  
• Protectron: Tickets please.

• I'm a doctor.
  
• I'm a housewife.
  
• I'm a Vault loyalty inspector.
  
• I don't know what I'm going to be.
  
• Narrator: Now finding your future is easy, with the Generalized Occupational Aptitude Test. Sample questions now available. See how easy it is. Start prepping today.

Before we begin this episode of The Adventures of Captain Cosmos, we've got a message from the fine folks at Pulowski Preservation Services, purveyors of products there when you actually need them.

Seems there's been a lot of talk these days about Vault life. But not all of us have the luxury to spend so much on something that, frankly, we may not actually need. Unlike those other guys, the sensible folks at Pulowski Preservation Services have created an affordable line of personal protection products to make sure no one gets left behind. Personal protection, there when you actually need it. Remember, that's Pulowski Preservation shelters. Simply there when you actually need them. Exact change only.

And now on to our show. The Adventures of Captain Cosmos co-starring Jangles, the Moon Monkey.

A father and son on camera next to a map of Washington D.C. behind them

• Father: Here we are, son. Our nation's capital.
  
• Son: There's nothing to do here. I'm bored.
  
• Lincoln Memorial: Nothing to do? Why, there's not a foot of this town that isn't packed with heroes and history. It's not called the capital for nothing. Right, Tom?
  
• Jefferson Memorial: That's right, Abe. In fact, every year millions of tourists come to enjoy our beautiful nature and advanced technology. Right, George?
  
• Washington Monument: Ah, yes. We've seen so much over the years and there's more to come. But, one thing's for sure. We'll always be there. No matter what happens.
  
• Son: Wow dad. I guess there really is a lot to see.
  
• Father: Glad you changed your mind. Let's go see what we can see.
  
• Lincoln Memorial: How about you? Are you ready to see what you can see? We're waiting.

The story of too much.

Some things are good in small quantities. Like cookies, candy and puppies. As you may know, much of our electricity comes from nuclear energy. In small quantities, this fantastic friend keeps us safe, clean, and happy. But in large quantities, nuclear energy can be harmful.

Talk to your family about the effects of nuclear energy. The more you know, the better.

This story brought to you by Vault-Tec.

• Brahmin: If provoked while filling one of its eight stomachs, this two-headed source of nutritious protein will not hesitate to disembowel you with one of its four horns.
  
• Bloatfly: A shrill scream serves as the only warning before this oversized pest delivers a colony of maggot eggs into your belly.
  
• Feral ghoul: In a constant fit of madness, this human husk's one wish is to dine on your tender flesh.
  
• Giant ant: Oversized and prepared to tussle, this loyal soldier's bone snapping mandibles protect and feed the hill's queen.
  
• Mirelurk: This unfriendly fish-man is no lifeguard, attacking humans on sight and dragging their lifeless bodies to a watery grave.
  
• Mole rat: Over fifty pounds of buck-toothed filth, these rotund rodents leave a path of death and disease wherever they go.
  
• Radroach: In the light, this louse will do you no harm, but in a den of darkness, the swarm will trample you underfoot.
  
• Radscorpion: If this pony-sized insect's stinger doesn't murder you, its pincers will.
  
• Yao guai: With a growling stomach and a cranky mood, this deranged bear's razor sharp claws will leave your warm intestines dangling.