Dr. Eddie Harrison's house terminal entries

Dr. Eddie Harrison's Scientific Log
Welcome Dr. Harrison!

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 What would you like to look at, Dr. Harrison?

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Important Reminder to self:
Before venturing out to collect data, remember to bring your syringer, and a sufficient supply of ammo.

Procedure:
1. Take the Vox Interpreter holotape, and load it into your recording device. The program should start automatically, and it will wait to receive signals from the darts.

2. Tag the animal you wish to interpret. I'll need to collect data from a number of creatures if I want to fully understand them. Maintain data collection for about 45 seconds for an optimal sample.

3. For these preliminary trials, it doesn't matter if the animal dies in the process, but try to keep it alive long enough to get sufficient data! Holotape should provide enough storage for roughly 3 encounters.

4. Return holotape to the lab terminal for processing. After data has finished processing, you may repeat the process.

They called me crazy. Said I spent too much time cooped up in my basement laboratory with my experiments. Now it has been three years since the war, they're all dead, and they've still had the last laugh! Do you have any idea how lonely it gets without anyone to talk to, even if all they ever seemed to say was "Gee Dr. Harrison, do you ever leave your basement?" Even those uncouth Raiders haven't come back since they picked over the town!

That's why I've decided to invent the Vox Interpreter for animals, the next evolution of a device I had begun constructing long ago to interpret the electrical nerve impulses and vocal babblings in human infants into artificial speech patterns their parents could understand. It likely worked, but I never found any willing test subjects.

This new and improved Vox Interpreter should translate what various animals are thinking and put it into words I can understand, through the power of science! Once I finish my work, I'll be able to converse with animals better than I could with any of the nitwits who lived in this miserable town! Let this document remain for posterity, so that in the event of my untimely demise, future generations will appreciate the true genius of Dr. Eddie Harrison.

Record your logs here, Eddie.

Hello Eddie! Let's talk, shall we?

What follows are my efforts to converse with myself in order to stave off loneliness and insanity. In order to simulate interaction with another human, I will send a message to myself, to read later after binging on alcohol. Then, I will respond to the best of my ability. The disparity between my inebriated self versus my sober self, shall at the very least, provide somewhat unexpected results.

Dear Eddie:
Here goes. Attempt number one.
I hope you're cognizant enough to formulate a coherent reply. It's the day after what would be Valentine's day, not that it would have ever mattered anyway. I missed my big shot years ago with Elaine. Should I have been less focused on my work? Would I have noticed the signs before it was too late? Oh, I feel like a fool, talking to myself about this. I don't know what I'm doing.

What do I have to lose? I might as well try it once. I'm out of ideas.

-Yours,
Dr. Harrison

Forgot how much I hate the taste. I don't feel any effects yet. Maybe I just need more. I'll leave this here.

Ok. bottle's almost empty. I don't even knwhat if I'm drink yet. maybe moree.

Stupid You1 Whyd you thinkl this woud ebe a good idea?>? Ok so I driunk a whole bottle of somethnig. Vodka? I dontknow. How are yooo? Let's go do sciencwe! Yeah! Lookat me, I'm doing sience!!!@

So you screwwwed up with ElainE! aH SO WHAT< YOU. THERE ARE OTHRE FISH IN THE TREE. you can"t do anything about it nnoer anyway . mOVE ON. you should just do a scienec antyway. You'RE smart. yuov'e got this, Dr. Me!

Heyy, I'm going t find more to Drik thne go to sleep bed. yOU Hang in tehre, buddy!

Eddie,

I read your reply yesterday morning after recovering. I believe that's what one would call a massive hangover? So that's what it's like. I remain uncertain about this idea, but you were oddly insightful, so I might as well give it another go.

I don't know what to talk about, but last time did prove to be helpful dealing with my past failures, so let's try that again. I wish I had been more outgoing when I had the chance. I had no friends in this town, granted most of them were... simple, at least compared with me. I wonder what I could have done better? Maybe, in your stupor, you will again accidentally provide the wisdom I seek. I suppose we'll find out.

-Yours,
Dr. Harrison (Sober)

k, goodn drank now! Almost forgot tow rite! Hey you! You're me! Yeah, you! Ok. Okk. so Herse the thing. Heres' what ti tis. No one liked you. They were all a bunch of aholes, and you were too good for anyof them.Too smrt.

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But you know what? i KN OW YOU WERE ALSO TOO MUHC OF A COW ARD TO TLK TO ANYONE. you know why you coldnt' get anyone t otest your Baby intepreter thing? Yiou know why? It's becuaSE YOU WERER TOO CHICKEN SCARED TO approach anyone t ask you big dumb dummy! Waht a waste! Get yourself togetger Dr. Whyyd you drank so much I feel like im going to v

Eddie Harrison, you are a genius! First, I'm done with this experiment. I would say the abuse isn't worth it, but it yielded fantastic results. I am now reminded of my Infant Interpreter, a device I was developing to interpret the incoherent babblings of babies and convert it to a common language parents could understand.

I believe, with some modifications, I could make it work on animals. There may not be many other human beings alive now, but there is no shortage of animals! In fact, I have witnessed fascinating new mutations around here as of late.

I won't need to interact with humans ever again!

Damn it all! The Vox Interpreter seems to work. However, the bite I sustained seems to be infected, and that infection is spreading. Who would have imagined I would be done in by a mutated hairless squirrel? I'm fading faster than I would have liked. I'll leave everything here as it is when I'm gone, so someone else can continue feeding data into the program. Maybe someone will see wisdom in my writings. Don't let opportunities pass you by. Be brave.

If life after the war has taught me anything, it's how lonely the world can be. Do anything you can to remain sane. If you've found this, you're going to want what I've created. Use it to gather more data, and maybe one day the right person with the right skills will come along to finish my work. At least we can give them the data they'll need for the job.

Data collection successful.

Please allow time to process, analyze, and store Vox Interpreter data before removing Holotape. Holotape Data will be cleared after processing for next use.

Please come back again later.