SSBM 2018: Lapis - A Parody Blog on Shrek!

Published Oct 27th, 2018, 10/27/18 9:52 pm

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Eli the Zeratoed
Level 51 : Grandmaster Professor

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Spooky Scary GIF - Spooky Scary Skeletons GIFs

Howdy, y'all! It's me, Eli, back with more orange font than what you can find on a Halloween website! Now, if you've read my blog review on Shrek, you obviously know that I hate this movie to a certain degree, but-
SSBM 2018: Lapis - A Parody Blog on Shrek!

SSBM 2018: Lapis - A Parody Blog on Shrek!

Woah woah woah! Put down your gem destabilizers! I didn't say that I outright hated the Shrek series! I was going to say that I have a love-hate relationship with the franchise just like how I first initially thought of Steven Universe. The jokes were funny, a few of the characters are likable and sympathetic, but some of the designs threw me off and gave me nightmares.
Everybody Hates Chris, Memes, and 🤖: Everybody Loves aymond Everybody Hates Chris

Everybody Hates Chris, Memes, and 🤖: Everybody Loves aymond<br/><br/> Everybody Hates Chris

Fun fact: Did you know that Shrek was created out of hate instead of love? Now, we all know Katzenburg, the founder of DreamWorks, created this as "unbridled rage" towards Disney, but even most of the animators hated working on this movie as well. During the production of Prince of Egypt, anyone who's animation didn't meet the "perfect" standards were forced to work on this movie, much to their everlasting shame. Why do I bring up these facts? Well, this is exactly how I felt when creating this new "Eli's Parodied Retelling" blog, Lapis.
File:Peridot unbridled-rage.gif

Tell Moses no Suffer through plagues Let his people go Let his people go

Don't get me wrong! I loved making the script for this movie and gathering the images, but grabbing any Shrek-related images felt like a chore. The amount of pictures for this dank meme oni I had to skim through made me cringe in fear and almost gave me nightmares again. The backgrounds and dank meme images were probably the most painful to retrieve, but regardless, I strangely liked making this blog. Something in my mind wanted me to get this revised parody of a parody out in the world, and weirdly enough, my love for this guilty pleasure movie pushed me forward to where we are today!
Steven Universe - The Kindergarten Kid - Part 3 Steven Universe, Steven Universe Season 4, Steven Universe The Kindergarten Kid, Steven, Peridot, Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet, Corrputed gem, Lapis, Gem, Bubble, Nice Bubble Peri, holy smokes peridot GIF

Steven Universe - The Kindergarten Kid - Part 3 Steven Universe, Steven Universe Season 4, Steven Universe The Kindergarten Kid, Steven, Peridot, Amethyst, Pearl, Garnet, Corrputed gem, Lapis, Gem, Bubble, Nice Bubble Peri, holy smokes peridot GIF

Unfortunately, Just like my Beauty and the Beast blog, this story going to be split up into multiple chapters in the "Update logs" section, which is located below this blog. This is because the story gets cut off midway through due to a hidden character limit, and until this issue gets fixed (or not, I sent a ticket and so far, nobody gave a care about it), you're just going to have to take it at face value. Now that you know the gist, go ahead and read this crazy Shrek parody and come back when you're finished! I'll be waiting...

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/008/092/e6b.gif

So, did you enjoy the amazing epic adventures of Lapis and the gang? What!? You said it was an awful cringy fanfiction that enforced the Lapidot ship!?
The original "okay guy"

Well, even if you didn't enjoy it, I can still respect whatever opinion you have on it, whether you love it or not. I know this year of Spooky Scary Blog Month wasn't that impressive, but that's because I gave myself too many personal breaks from making these blogs. Maybe next year will be better, but I'm hoping this year's Christmas blog series will top this year of disappointment. Maybe if you're lucky, I'll add an extra Spooky Scary Blog Month candy-flavored goodie in November, just to satisfy your post-Halloween depression. For now, enjoy these memes, and have a safe spoopy fright-filled Halloween, regardless if you trick-or-treat or not. Muahahahahahaha!
Spooky Scary GIF - Spooky Scary Skeletons GIFs

Lapis Lazuli | W... WHAT YEAR IS IT? WHERE ARE THE GEMS THAT DAMAGED MY GEM!? | image tagged in lapis lazuli,memes | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

Great Sphinx of Giza Great Pyramid of Giza Saqqara Philae Egyptian pyramids Nile sky

PERIDOT CENA 2girls Brosuke, Senpai, Brosuke Senpai, Baldi's Basics, Comedy, Duo, Dual Commentary, steven universe, rebecca sugar, Peridot, Aquamarine, Baldi, baldi's basics in education and learning, Pearl, let's play, video games peridot GIF

8 Update Logs

Chapter 8, You're too Late : by Eli the Zeratoed 10/27/2018 8:19:13 amOct 27th, 2018

Chapter 8: The Curse is Broken...?

Gruntilda: Hey you two! Stop your mooching!
File:GruntyBroom.gif

Lapis: Huh?
File:The New Crystal Gems 234.png

Fiona: Gruntilda!? The witch who cursed me!?
File:The New Crystal Gems 228.png

Gruntilda: That's right! I'm here to break your curse and get back to my errands or whatever.
File:GruntyFurnace.png

Fiona: Really? That's awesome! Thank you so much!
File:Room For Ruby Peridot welcomes Ruby Navy.jpg

Gruntilda: You're welcome.
File:Gruntilda.png

Lapis: *Whispers to Pumpkin* Dang, she's more dead-panned than me.
File:Alone at Sea 155.png

Pumpkin: *Whispers back* I know, right?

Gruntilda: By night one way, by day ano- Oh, who even cares anymore about the curse. I'm outta here. *Zaps Fiona with her "curse-breaking" wand.
video games n64 GIF

Fiona: *Gasp* It's working! I can feel my humanity slowly returning to me! Aw yeah!! Parties every weekend, baby! Woo!!
reallygaycat: “ ozziescribbler: “ Note how she takes a single shape immediately. So did Peridot literally never before regenerate? She’s a BABY GEM through and through! ” we saw the same lack of previous forms with lapis too, the “marionette doll”...

reallygaycat:<br/><br/>“ ozziescribbler:<br/><br/>“ Note how she takes a single shape immediately.<br/><br/>So did Peridot literally never before regenerate? She’s a BABY GEM through and through!<br/><br/>”<br/><br/>we saw the same lack of previous forms with lapis too, the “marionette doll”...

*What? Fiona is evolving! Whatever you do, don't press the B button!*
Don't Push the B Button by Dinoyipi

*You idiot! You pressed it. Now she's a Peridot forever. Congrats.*
File:Back to the Kindergarten 026.png

Lapis: *Notices that Fiona was dropped on the ground, but she's still a Peridot* Fiona! Are you okay!?
File:Same Old World 135.png

Fiona: Ugh... Wha... What happened? Am I a dolphin-human hybrid again?
File:Back to the Kindergarten 028.png

Lapis: Er, no. You broke your curse, but you're a Peridot forever.
File:CantGoBack318.png

Fiona: I'm a what...?
ðâââââð¬ð¬ð¬

Lapis: Sorry.
File:CantGoBack279.png

Fiona: I'm a what!?
File:Barn Mates 022.png

Lapis: Dude, calm-
File:Alone at Sea 167.png

Fiona: You maniacs!! You fools! What have you done to me!? I was supposed to be beautiful again, but you darn screwed it up! Darn you! Darn you all to heck!!
File:Back to the Kindergarten 173.png

Excalibur: *In the crowd somewhere saying this word at the exact same time Fiona does* Fools!
Excalibur Fool GIF - Excalibur Fool SoulEater GIFs

Lapis: But you are-
File:CantGoBack280.png

Fiona: I don't even care anymore! Is this what I get for all my hard work... For 30 darn years!? Just shame and regret!? Just... screw this noise. My life is ruined...
File:Back to the Kindergarten 171.png

Lapis: But Fiona... You are beautiful, Peridot or not.
File:Same Old World 094.png

Fiona: But what about everyone else, huh!? Does anyone else love me for who I am!?
File:Back to the Kindergarten 172.png

Lapis: Well, audience, what do you think? *Whispers to fourth wall* This includes, PMC-ers, too!
File:Same Old World 038.png

Audience: *Gives nothing but honest positive comments and thumbs ups*
season 6 episode 3 GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants

Fiona: So... they do love me?
File:Back to the Kindergarten 189.png

Lapis: Heck yeah! And they're even being honest!
File:Alone at Sea 016.png

Fiona: *Cries with tears of joy* Oh, Lappy! You're the best!
File:Barn Mates 251.png

Lapis: Thanks. You too, my little Peri-
lapis, lapidot, and peridot image

Fiona: *Moans loudly in regret from that permanent reminder that she is a Peridot forever*

*Woo! Cue the credits! I'm finally done with this script!*

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anonpmc2535310

• 12/16/2018 1:56 pm

• Level 2 : Apprentice Miner

[deleted]

Eli the Zeratoed

• 12/31/2018 4:27 am

• Level 51 : Grandmaster Professor

Yup, I can see that being me as well. :P

Antiquez

• 11/06/2018 10:01 am

• Level 38 : Artisan Artist

why did you press the B button?!?!?!?

Eli the Zeratoed

• 11/06/2018 7:47 pm

• Level 51 : Grandmaster Professor

I don't know! I had to do it to progress the story! ;~;

BrochachoTheBro

• 11/02/2018 5:23 pm

• Level 27 : Expert Skinner

this is planet minecraft

Eli the Zeratoed

• 11/02/2018 5:37 pm

• Level 51 : Grandmaster Professor

*Facepalm* If I had a nickel every time I heard this, I'd be able to buy Microsoft and all of it's properties.

For Pete's sake, Minecraft is about creativity, and most posts nowadays are about creative ideas, Minecraft or not. If you want Minecraft posts, there's some old blogs of mine you would love to check out. If not, there are plenty of Minecraft blogs and forums out there you can read so then you don't comment stuff like this onto creative blogs like this. I'm not trying to be a grumpy argumentative commenter here, but I'm just trying to bring my mature personal enlightening thoughts onto the issue like what most ranters miss nowadays. That will be all. :3

Antiquez

• 11/06/2018 9:56 am

• Level 38 : Artisan Artist

Id have only $7 :(

Eli the Zeratoed

• 11/06/2018 7:46 pm

• Level 51 : Grandmaster Professor

Well, it's an exaggeration. I probably wouldn't have that much money to buy Microsoft. I'd probably only have enough to buy a few three-packs of Bakugan. :P

Antiquez

• 12/06/2018 12:38 pm

• Level 38 : Artisan Artist

Well i guess it is better than buying microsoft

Eli the Zeratoed

• 12/08/2018 1:37 am

• Level 51 : Grandmaster Professor

Yeah, I mean, there's not much you can do with Microsoft besides correctly remaking Banjo Kazooie/Conker's Bad Fur Day/Any Rareware property or make Minecraft updates great again. At least with Bakugan three-packs, you get a game and a few Bakugan buddies you can stick on your desk for fun! Now that's definitely worth the cash. :3

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SSBM 2018: Lapis - A Parody Blog on Shrek!

8 Update Logs

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