What do you say, when you don't know what to say? In the context of the #cancer journey, nearly 60% of cancer survivors report high levels of loneliness. Why? I believe it's because we — their family, friends, and neighbors — don't always feel comfortable communicating our care and concern. And communicating that while balancing nosiness with genuine curiosity, and offering help while not seeming intrusive. Here's the challenge: A neighbor texts you today about a new cancer diagnosis. What do you text back? If you're like me, there will be some pauses, deletes, and showing drafts to someone else, before hitting send. And that would be my challenge of writing back at the time of diagnosis. What will I say 2 weeks, 2 years, or even 2 decades later while a person may still be undergoing a cancer journey? With rapid progress in cancer care, the 2-decade scenario is real (I have patients coming up on 15 years with metastatic #breastcancer). This week is Global Loneliness Awareness Week. And I was privileged to speak at the Global Loneliness Awareness Week Summit in DC, joining Senator Maggie Hassan (pictured) and U.S. Representatives Mike Flood and Seth Moulton. Our themes were around the pervasiveness of social isolation and its effects on health. If you know someone with cancer, a few thoughts about what you could say: 1. "Hey, I was just thinking about you." — short, simple, caring, does not require a response 2. "Would love to drop off a pizza on Thursday. Can you remind me what toppings you like?" — tangible offer of help, allows for person to decline and redirect or suggest an alternative And there are others. Take a moment this week to reach out. It will — from the stories my patients tell me — make a world of difference.
Another thing, as a cancer survivor, please don’t exclude us from sharing your joy or good things going on or even trials. Let a survivor decide if they can attend a party or not. I had so many people tell me, “well, I was going to invite you, but I knew you had a lot going on and didn’t want to add anything to your plate or I didn’t want it to seem like too much for you.” In all honesty, being able to think about others and the joy they were experiencing or even if they had hard things coming their way, allowed me to not think about myself, which made it so much easier to go through the cancer journey. We still want to share in your life experiences.
Thank you for joining us and speaking on loneliness in the cancer journey! For those interested, recordings of summit's sessions, including Dr. Kamal's panel, can be found on our website here: https://www.endsocialisolation.org/activation/2024-global-loneliness-awareness-week/
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Arif Kamal MD, MBA Totally agree with your sentiment. Here are some additional ideas https://www.linkedin.com/posts/gautam-dhingra-a48a564_livingwithcancer-cancerawareness-cancer-activity-7173318318970404865-9fcb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios
Great post Arif Kamal MD, MBA and so real. From experience, another helpful one "How are you doing today?'... because in the cancer (and human) journey, every day is different
I was diagnosed with cancer 3 times breast and skin so I can fate thanks for sharing.
I was diagnosed with cancer 3 times breast and skin so I can thanks for sharing.
This is so true it becomes a void and awkward.... Great work breaking down these barriers!
President & CMO Ignition | Strategy | Marketing Communications | Tech PR I Bestselling Author of Flat Please | Co-Creator AskEllyn.ai | Speaker | CEO of the Lyndall Project and AskEllyn
1moI know that feeling of loneliness very well, and having to deal with well intentioned, but awkward things people say. It is why we created https://www.askellyn.ai. She is private, free, gathers no data, non-medical. She is there to hold your hand at 2 am. And she will coach friends and family on the right things to do and say.