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Dana Caspersen
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Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution Kindle Edition

by Dana Caspersen (Author), Joost Elffers (Contributor) Format: Kindle Edition
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The seventeen key principles for transforming conflict—in a beautiful package from the creator of The 48 Laws of Power

From Joost Elffers, the packaging genius behind the huge New York Times bestsellers The 48 Laws of Power, The 33 Strategies of War, and The Art of Seduction, comes this invaluable manual that teaches seventeen fundamentals for turning any conflict into an opportunity for growth. Beautifully packaged in a graphic, two-color format, Changing the Conversation is written by conflict expert Dana Caspersen and is filled with real-life examples, spot-on advice, and easy-to-grasp exercises that demonstrate transformative ways to break out of destructive patterns, to create useful dialogue in difficult situations, and to find long-lasting solutions for conflicts. Sure to claim its place next to Getting to Yes, this guide will be a go-to resource for resolving conflicts.
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  1. Print length
    272 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    Not Enabled
  4. Publisher
    Penguin Books
  5. Publication date
    January 27, 2015
  6. File size
    18284 KB
  7. Page Flip
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  8. Word Wise
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  9. Enhanced typesetting
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  10. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for Changing the Conversation

“If your strategy for winning an argument is to yell louder than the other guy, Dana Caspersen's Changing the Conversation is an innovative look at conflict resolution that will be an eye-opener. Take a deep breath and learn to listen carefully, resist the urge to attack and find ways to move forward.”
—BookPage

“Caspersen gives you the chance to understand what’s behind life’s everyday conflicts and how best, in turn, to consider handling them. [This] intriguing book covers a lot of ground. The basic themes of communication, respect, curiosity, and willingness to consider alternative points of view can get you through many of life’s toughest moments with the people who matter most to you.”
—Psychology Today

“As Caspersen deftly distilled the essence of myriad strategies to resolve interpersonal conflict, Elffers similarly crafted an experiential product. Ultimately, they collectively created a valuable contribution to conflict resolution practices in the popular literature.”
—ACResolution Magazine

“Conflict mediator Dana Caspersen has identified 17 principles of conflict resolution that we'd do well to adopt.”
—The Hamilton Spectator
 
“[E]asy to page through or read . . . this book was a great reminder about the importance of resolving conflict and not getting stuck. Caspersen's narrative is simple, but more valuable . . . [because] it's usable. I love this book!”
—Megan Scribbles blog

“Each principle breaks conflict down into a series of decisions. You don’t have to change your personality or emotional deftness. You can just follow these steps.”
—Toronto Globe and Mail
 
“This book is good for beginners and those experienced in the practice . . . [it’s] a marvelous thing. It has examples of common conflicts and language used in families, talking with teens, in work situations, in political discussions. On the facing page it gives examples of a more constructive approach . . . We all need this book.”
—The Bowed Bookshelf

“Visually stunning . . . Dana Caspersen has unearthed the roots of conflict and exposed them to the light of truth. Empowering.”
—Heather’s Book Corner
 
“Readers can quickly read through this book and discover new and better ways of handling conflicts and then keep it nearby as a reference in the future.  This book is recommended for parents, employers and employees and those in relationships. It is a book that can help anyone if the principles stated are taken seriously and acted upon.”
—Booksie’s Blog
 
“Filled with everyday examples and opportunities for practice, it’s the perfect book for those hoping to make lasting and meaningful changes to their relationships.”
—Dad of Divas Reviews

Praise for The 48 Laws of Power

“It’s the rules for suits . . . Machiavelli has a new rival. And Sun Tzu had better watch his back. . . Just reading the table of contents is enough to stir a little corner-office lust.”
—New York magazine
 
“Beguiling . . . literate . . . fascinating. A wry primer for people who desperately want to be on top.”
—People magazine
 
“An heir to Machiavelli’s Prince . . . gentler souls will find this book frightening, those whose moral compass is oriented solely to power will have a perfect vade mecum.”
—Publishers Weekly
 
“Satisfyingly dense and . . . literary, with fantastic examples of genius power-game players. It’s The Rules meets In Pursuit of Wow! with a degree in comparative literature.”
—Rebecca Mead, Allure

About the Author

DANA CASPERSEN is an expert on conflict studies and mediation who has developed conflict workshops and public dialogue projects internationally. She is also an award-winning performing artist and lives in Germany and Vermont.

JOOST ELFFERS is the packager of The 48 Laws of Power as well as Optical Illusions, Play With Your Food, and Viking Studio’s Secret Language series. He lives in New York City.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00R3GASW4
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Books; Reprint edition (January 27, 2015)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 27, 2015
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 18284 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Not enabled
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 272 pages
  • Customer Reviews:

About the author

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Dana Caspersen

Dana Caspersen

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Dana Caspersen is conflict engagement specialist, award-winning performing artist, TEDx speaker and author. She helps people transform destructive conflicts from the inside: changing the conversation by changing their own actions. Her book “Changing the Conversation: The 17 Principles of Conflict Resolution” (A Joost Elffers Book) has been translated into 8 languages and is widely used as a training tool by organizations, schools and individuals worldwide.

Offering fundamental principles for a flexible, productive approach to navigating conflict, Dana has worked with thousands of people worldwide as an educator, mediator, coach, speaker, and designer of large-scale interactive public dialogues. As a leading artist with the Ballet Frankfurt and the Forsythe Company, she collaborated with choreographer William Forsythe on his most celebrated creations. Dana received the Bessie Award for Outstanding Creative Achievement in New York City, was nominated for the Lawrence Olivier Award in London. She lives in Frankfurt and Vermont.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: please visit danacaspersen.com

TEDx TALK– CONFLICT IS A PLACE OF OPPORTUNITY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfQeH3092Sc

MORE VIDEOS: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCpuYD5HgcyW3MxvPxNL5YA

FOLLOW HER ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER: Dana Caspersen

Photo: Dominik Mentzos

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
127 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the concepts in the book good and linear. They also describe the guiding principles as intuitive and useful, with helpful takeaways. Readers describe the book as a quick, well-designed read that improves life. However, some customers report issues with the kindle format.

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ReadabilityConceptsKindle format
19 customers mention "Readability"17 positive2 negative

Customers find the book easy to understand, enjoyable, and practical. They also appreciate the presentation of the concepts and clarity of the ideas presented. Readers also mention that the book helps them take something seemingly impossible and empower others. They say it's a great book that is well designed and easy to use on a daily basis.

"...It's a very well designed book visually that helps make it accessible to a busy executive...." Read more

"...Indeed, I found the book to be a fascinating presentation of cogent, linear ideas that pirouettes into memorable conclusions with the visual pizzazz..." Read more

"...This book has helped me take something seemingly impossible, and empower all of us involved, including me as the conflict mediator." Read more

"...Well written and easy to put into action. By far the best book on conflict resolution out there.Thank you!" Read more

7 customers mention "Concepts"7 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's concepts good, linear, and memorable. They also say it provides a prospective on resolving conflict.

"...Indeed, I found the book to be a fascinating presentation of cogent, linear ideas that pirouettes into memorable conclusions with the visual pizzazz..." Read more

"...sets it apart from Non-Violent Communication is the framing of conflict as an opportunity. It is an action-based book...." Read more

"...Well written and easy to put into action. By far the best book on conflict resolution out there.Thank you!" Read more

"One of the most easily accessible and straightforward presentations of conflict resolution I've ever had the good fortune to read...." Read more

3 customers mention "Kindle format"0 positive3 negative

Customers find the kindle format of the book unreadable.

"...I agree with other reviewers - the book is not in a kindle format, and that's annoying. I bought a hardcopy version." Read more

"The book looks great - but this is not a kindle format. It is impossible to read on my kindle without scrolling three times per line...." Read more

"Not in Kindle Format. Impossible to review keywords. One Star. As an "Evelyn Woods Speed Reading Buff" it is a "Zero Rating"" Read more

Top reviews from the United States

Dave Hill Jr.
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent book with many great angles on how to approach conflict resolution.
Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2024
Verified Purchase
I'm a professional executive coach and have found this book to be a great resource for my own view of conflicts and for recommending it to my clients. It's a very well designed book visually that helps make it accessible to a busy executive. You can skim the table of contents and then jump to where you might be stuck. "Chapter 1: Don't hear attack. Listen for what's behind the words" is already a huge leap that helps so many and would help our world be a better place. We let our own fear and emotions get in the way of love and understanding all the time. I also love that Dana Caspersen is an artist and choreographer, which makes intuitive sense to me.
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Jay from Boston
5.0 out of 5 stars linear ideas that pirouettes into memorable conclusions with the visual pizzazz to make it all pretty damn congruent
Reviewed in the United States on March 2, 2015
Verified Purchase
Over the years I've digested books and journals about conflict resolution. Changing the Conversation is an oeuvre that hangs on elegance in concept, design and presentation. I was not surprised to learn that the author was a force on the modern dance scene in a company (William Forsythe) that was world renowned for its innovation. Indeed, I found the book to be a fascinating presentation of cogent, linear ideas that pirouettes into memorable conclusions with the visual pizzazz to make it all pretty damn congruent. I find most concept books to be work, but a lot of this seemed downhill, which made the sledding fast, practical and memorable. I had planned to skim it but three hours later, understood and bought into the system. I highly recommend it.
17 people found this helpful
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Jack X.
4.0 out of 5 stars Simple Action-Based Read; Good for Mediators and Individuals
Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2016
Verified Purchase
It's very simple and straightforward, building on the idea that conflict resolution can be practiced and learned by anybody. It overlaps very strongly with Marshall Rosenberg's Non-Violent Communication (and his philosophy is the foundation of this category). There are a few ways it differs, so I tend to take it with a grain of salt. Look at the bigger picture of why it frames the practice the way it does. For example, Marshall Rosenberg focuses on feelings, needs, and requests. This book adds a step in-between needs and requests, called interests. It can be a little confusing and the definitions are arbitrary, but the examples given help clear it up.

What I like most about this book that sets it apart from Non-Violent Communication is the framing of conflict as an opportunity. It is an action-based book. You can take it to conflict with you as a how-to reference and flip through as needed (though this may feel silly). The directions are clear enough that I could take it to a conflict right now and start practicing. Actions speak louder than words because actions will actually change something.

Even the most overwhelming situation or conflict has potential for resolve. Many of us are afraid that there is one conflict that just can't be resolved, but this book doesn't suggest ignoring it and letting it fester. If you discover there is no resolution, and if you both face that fact, you will both have a stronger desire to move on from it- and thus find resolution that way. This book has helped me take something seemingly impossible, and empower all of us involved, including me as the conflict mediator.
9 people found this helpful
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arizonamegs
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent and well planned out
Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2018
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Probably my most loved book have purchased from Amazon in the new year. Well written and easy to put into action. By far the best book on conflict resolution out there.
Thank you!
3 people found this helpful
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BR Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful and easy read!
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2017
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Wonderful and easy read! I bought this book after participating in Trainings on Interpersonal Communication Techniques and Conflict Resolution. I find this book very helpful in changing a way to approach others as well as it helps to understand other person's position during conversation, or conflict.
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dwjms
3.0 out of 5 stars Overall helpful, but short on depth
Reviewed in the United States on March 5, 2023
Verified Purchase
The guiding principles are intuitive and useful, and therefore a lot of helpful takeaways in the book. But I would have liked to see more in-depth discussion on some of the more tactical challenges to conflict resolution. What happens, for instance, when the other person doesn't engage? What happens if your own emotions get in the way? How do conflict resolution strategies differ in various settings (e.g. workplace vs. family life)?
One person found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Conflict resolution in a nutshell
Reviewed in the United States on May 3, 2017
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One of the most easily accessible and straightforward presentations of conflict resolution I've ever had the good fortune to read. An invaluable resource for professional and layman alike. Lucidly written and eloquently presented.
2 people found this helpful
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GothamLiving
4.0 out of 5 stars Read this before heading into difficult conversations
Reviewed in the United States on June 2, 2017
Verified Purchase
This is a simple, quick read, filled with rich nuggets of information about resolving conflict. I discuss the 17 principles with individuals prior to conducting conflict mediation sessions and know that it improves the conversations and brings faster resolution. These are invaluable communication tools that everyone should learn.

I agree with other reviewers - the book is not in a kindle format, and that's annoying. I bought a hardcopy version.
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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Sash
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good book
Reviewed in Canada on January 11, 2019
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I love this book. It’s easy to read and really breaks conflict resolution down. It really helped changed my mind set on conflicts and has helped my personal and professional life.
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Xx
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 12, 2018
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A wonderful book, very useful -- really enjoyed!
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christine kono
5.0 out of 5 stars Empfehlung
Reviewed in Germany on May 2, 2015
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Das Buch, "Changing the Conversation", geschrieben von Dana Caspersen und von Joost Elfers ausgelegt, ist eine hervorragende Unterstützung für die Entwicklung der Fähigkeit, bessere Entscheidungen zu treffen.
Dana Caspersen ist in der Lage, uns klar und einfach zu zeigen, wenn es Meinungsverschiedenheiten gibt, wie wir die Möglichkeit der Diskussion eröffnen kann um Lösungen zu finden.
So können wir von Konflikten lernen.
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Dee
5.0 out of 5 stars Love this book!
Reviewed in Canada on July 11, 2020
Verified Purchase
Excellent content.
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bmh466
4.0 out of 5 stars but like the style of the book for learning
Reviewed in Canada on April 21, 2016
Verified Purchase
Purchased as a gift, but like the style of the book for learning.
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