The Brave Little Toaster (film)

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The Brave Little Toaster is a 1987 American animated feature film directed by Jerry Rees, written by Thomas M. Disch, produced by Hyperion Pictures, along with The Kushner-Locke Company (who were the original producers). It follows five appliances who go on the quest to search for their master.

Directed by Jerry Rees. Written by Jerry Rees and Joe Ranft.
Plug into the adventure! (taglines)

Toaster

[edit]
  • Good morning, everyone.
  • Well, you can do what you like. We're not gonna give up hope.
  • You know, guys, we are gonna need some kind of shelter.

Dialogue

[edit]
Radio: [first lines] Good morning, good morning, good morning. That was A-Billion-And-One Strings playing one of your all-time favorite tunes. At the top of the news this morning, there's monkey business in Utah. Aw, seriously, now. It seems that a band of renegade chimpanzees have kidnapped Pulitzer prize-winning poet Lester Charles and are demanding--
Lampy: Hey, what's this great idea?! I'm attempting to get some sleep!
Radio: Look buddy, I'm doing a broadcast. Did you mind? [lights on] WHOA! Not in the face there, pal! Now let me see, uh... Oh, yes, the chimps are protesting.
[Then a small gold lamp named Lampy jumps on the Master's bed to Radio]
Lampy: I have the good mind to reset your alarm! PERMANENTLY!!
Radio: Sorry, folks. We seem to be experiencing the little technical difficulty, but I'm sure it's nothing we can't HANDLE!!
[Does more radio gibberish until Lampy shuts him off]
Lampy: Whew. Can't even hear your own thoughts around here with the racket around here. [Radio shoots up and pushes Lampy right off the bed] HOLY MOTHER OF EDISON! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! YOU MIGHT HAVE BROKEN MY BULB!!
Radio: [turns on] I'm thinking you think too much, pal. What we need is some wake-up music!

Lampy: Hey, come over here. I'm gonna--
Radio: Why, do you dare to cross foils with the greatest Saxon swordsman in the land? Haven't you the slightest idea who you're dealing with?
[Toaster laughs and smiles at Blanky]
Lampy: Precisely. A total idiot!
[But Blanky accidentally slides on the railing]
Radio: If your saber wags as loosely as your Norman tongue, you'll be run through the instant. Defend yourself, Sir Lampy of Locksley! [continually whacks Lampy with his antenna, Blanky falls on them] A blow for Richard! A blow for Marian! A blow for Mario, the garbage man! And for Carl, and all the boys at the delicatessen! [Toaster looks hopefully as Kirby moves forward] And here's one for the guys on Fifth Street! Hey! No!
Kirby: [accidentally sucks up Blanky] Oh, whoa! Oh, no, what?! [falls over]
Lampy: [stops the fighting] Hey, what's goin' on? What's goin' on? Who turned out the lights?
Toaster: [smiling] Good morning, everyone.
Blanky: [smiling] Good morning, Toaster.
Radio: [appearing from under Blanky] Hey, Slots.
Lampy: [appearing from under Blanky] Salutations.

Toaster: Can you see?
Lampy: Is it him? Is it him?
Radio: Any news? I'm dying down here!
Toaster: Is it the master? Is it the master? [echoes]
Blanky: It's him! He's back! [he dreams that he and the master are together again] It's the Master! [he flies down the stairs and the door opens]
Young Rob: Blanky!
Blanky: Master!
Young Rob: Blanky!
[just as they are about to hug, Rob disappears and the car drives past, making Blanky lament]
Lampy: Well, was it him? [Toaster frowns at him] Well, I'm just curious as to whether or not it was him. I hate being left in the dark, you know? [sees Blanky comes down] I guess we can assume that it wasn't him, right?
Toaster: Let's get back to work.
[the appliances put everything back]
Radio: Sorry for that little interruption, folks. We return to our regularly scheduled program at this time.

[Blanky cries hard while holding a picture of young Rob, their Master, after realizing the Master hasn't returned]
Kirby: [annoyed at Blanky crying; growls] Cry, cry, weep, wail and sob! It's disgusting! Every time! I can't believe it! Every single-- Give me that stupid picture! [tries to suck in Rob's picture frame]
Blanky: No, no!
Toaster: I'll just put it away!
Kirby: In the garbage!
Blanky: No, you can't!
Kirby: Wimp!
Toaster: [annoyed] Let go!
Kirby: He's not coming back anyway.
Lampy: He might. The fact is there's just not enough facts.
Radio: Fight breaks out in Peaceful Mountain Cottage, shocking the world, and bringing Geneva talks to a grinding halt!
Blanky: Stop it!
Kirby: Let me have it.
Blanky: You can't!
[The picture of young Rob flies through this air and crashes, Blanky gasps in shock]
Kirby: [shocked] Oh, no.
[the other appliances go toward this broken photo stand of Rob; suddenly, cold air breezes through the cottage, and Air Conditioner laughs ironically]
Toaster: What are you laughing at?
Air Conditioner: [stops laughing and smirks] Absolutely nothin', nothin' at all.
Lampy: I think he was laughin' with us.
Air Conditioner: You know somethin', you're a real bright little lamp.
Lampy: Oh, thanks. [realizes, then offended] Hey!
Air Conditioner: You guys really have an attachment for that kid, don't ya?
Blanky: Yes. He was our master.
Air Conditioner: Well, that's real nice. And any day now, he might come rompin' back, huh? Just come whistlin' right back in through that door, and everything'll be the same. Real peachy-keen-like.
Blanky: Uh-huh.
Lampy: It's a possibility.
Toaster: Well, at least, we try to be optimistic.
Air Conditioner: "Optimistic"?! Somebody (should) untie the knot in this guy's cord!
Kirby: [angrily] Why don't you just shut off?!
Air Conditioner: [sarcastically] Hey, I'm real scared there, Kirby. What are you gonna do, suck me to death?
Kirby: [offended] Hmph!
Air Conditioner: What is it with you guys, anyway? You act like you just came off the assembly line. Now, get this through your chrome: [blows the gust of cold wind at the other appliances] We've been dumped! Abandoned!
Blanky: But he loved us.
Radio: That's right.
Air Conditioner: So what? He's a kid, He has a family. They move away, he moves away. It's a package deal.
Toaster: But maybe, they're all--
Air Conditioner: [interrupts] He's not coming back, pure and simple.
Kirby: [to Air Conditioner] Oh, yeah? Did you talk to him recently or somethin'? They could drive up any second.
Blanky: [to Kirby] You really think so?
Kirby: [to Blanky] I'm not talkin' to you.
Air Conditioner: The whole bunch of you got to have a combined wattage of five, maybe less. It's been years. It's scrap-metal time.
Toaster: Well, you can do what you like. We're not gonna give up hope.
Air Conditioner: [sarcastically] That's real touchin', Toaster. You're gonna get me bawlin' like a babe any time now.
Toaster: I think you're jealous.
Air Conditioner: Sure, I'm jealous of a bunch of dimwits.
Lampy: [angrily] "Dim"?!
Toaster: Yeah. Because the Master never played with you.
Kirby: 'Cause you're stuck in the wall!
Air Conditioner: [blows cold air; angrily] So...it's back to that stupid static again. You think I don't know what's goin' on in here? I know what goes on in this cottage. It's a conspiracy, and every one of you low-watts is in on it. Just because you can move around, you think you're better than I am?! I'M NOT AN INVALID; I WAS DESIGNED TO STICK IN A WALL! I LIKE BEIN' STUCK IN THIS STUPID WALL! I can't help it if the kid was TOO SHORT TO REACH MY DIALS!
Toaster: We didn't mean it! Really!
[the appliances cover themselves from the sparks]
Air Conditioner: [angrily screaming] IT'S MY FUNCTION! [begins glowing in red-shift and then bright burst orange and sparks fly out of his mouth]
Toaster: Don't! Wait! Wait!
[The appliances run away as Air Conditioner overheats]
Kirby: [alarmed] HE'S GONNA BLOW!
Toaster: YANK YOUR CORDS!
[Blanky, Radio and Lampy pull out their plugs from two outlets and take cover]
Kirby: [behind chair] THE FUSE!
Toaster: KIRBY?!
[Air Conditioner continues to rage until he finally explodes. Toaster and Lampy carefully peek from behind the stairs and the appliances see Air Conditioner's blown up remains and his mouthpiece falls off]
Blanky: Poor Air Conditioner.
Toaster: I didn't know he'd take it so hard.
Kirby: Well, he was a jerk anyway.
Lampy: [hearing something] Hey, hey. What's that? What is it?
[Revving is heard]
Blanky: [happily] A car!
Kirby: [angrily] I don't want to hear another word about cars!
Toaster: [agreeing with Kirby] You said it.
Radio: Sounds pretty close.
Kirby: Just don't even start!
Lampy: Sounds real close.
[the appliances pause for a few seconds, and when they think the Master is gonna pick them up, they hide. But then, they hear a hammer, and look out the window to see a "For Sale" sign; Blanky looks shocked. In the next scene, Radio hums "Taps" as the lowers his antenna in a military fashion, Blanky bawls and falls to the floor and Lampy moans sadly]
Toaster: [angrily] STOP IT! [scene cuts to him jumping onto the soapbox] We're going out to find him!
Radio, Lampy, Kirby, and Blanky: WHAT?!
Kirby: What are you talking about? What do you mean?
Toaster: Exactly what I said: We're gonna go out and find the master.
Blanky: [scared] To the City?
Toaster: Yeah, no matter what.
Lampy: Well, how exactly would you propose we're gonna do that, exactly?
Toaster: I-- I don't know!
Kirby: Oh, come off it! Be serious!
Toaster: [to Kirby; annoyed] I am serious!
Kirby: You're insane! [backs away]
Radio: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems will be solved!
[Lampy, Kirby, Blanky and Toaster stare at Radio]
Toaster: [confused] What?
Radio: Or maybe it was a basset hound.
Kirby: You're all insane! [backs away more]
Radio: It was a news flash I picked up yesterday about a dog. [country accent] In an amazing show of loyalty and courage, a terrier name Grover traveled hundreds of miles to be reunited with his owner. The poor little critter was accidentally left behind on a fishing trip three weeks ago. And he had to find his way across rugged mountains and scorching deserts in order to get home. Little Grover turned out to be one spunky pup.
Toaster: If the dog can do it, we can do it!
Blanky: But the dog has legs.
Toaster Ah, don't be the wet blanket.
Lampy: Actually, legs would help, you know.
Kirby: Brains wouldn't hurt, either.
Lampy: Lay off.
Radio: [normal voice] Yeah, pipe down, Carpet Breath!
Toaster: Well, I'm going with or without you.
Kirby: I say we stay. We'll have a new master anyway as soon as someone buys the cottage.
Blanky: But, I don't want a new master. I want our master.
Toaster: Well, what about the rest of you?
Radio: You boys are going to need a leader. Why, alone, you wouldn't last for five minutes out there. I used to be a mountaineer, see? And together, we can stand against the forces of nature.
Lampy: Were you really a mountaineer?
Radio: Sure. Ask anybody. Ask Teddy Roosevelt. Why, we shot moose together on the Klondike.
Lampy: Wow. Well, you know, I was just thinking, you guys will need somebody bright along, too.
Toaster: Good idea.
Radio: Listen to this: "World War II, the Normandy Invasion! And who's there but Lampy to light the way?"
[The appliances look at Kirby]
Toaster: You know, I thought it'd be good to have somebody come along, who's really... strong.
Lampy: And loud.
Blanky: And grumpy.
Radio: And oblivious to reality.
Toaster: [hits his friends in annoyance] Well?
Kirby: [he pauses, and a few seconds later, he begrudgingly joins in; under his breath] I just know I'm gonna regret this.
[the rest of the other appliances cheer]
Lampy: [opens fuse box and pulls out last fuse] Wow. This was our last fuse.
Toaster: See? [puts last fuse in transmitter] It's a good thing we're getting out of here.
Radio: [turns on kitchen light] I've always loved travel, anyway. The open road, the smell of the wind in my face, the flies clogging up my grille.
Kirby: Yeah? Well, how are we going to travel?
Lampy: Hey, I've got an idea. We can all get on top of the bed, you know, and then Kirby can push us. [Kirby pushes the bed with Toaster, Blanky, Radio, and Lampy on board, and tries to push gently down the stairs, but pushes too hard, and sends Toaster, Blanky, Radio, and Lampy falling down with the bed] No, no, no. Hey, what about the Master's pogo stick? [the appliances jump on the Pogo stick, try to go forward, and succeed for a bit, but end up going backward in the wrong direction on it, and crash] No, that's no good. Hey, how about we're in the refrigerator on a skateboard, and Kirby can pull? [Kirby, with a rope attached to him, pulls the skateboard with the refrigerator on top, and tries to pull gently, but ends up pulling too hard that the rope snaps from the skateboard, which sends Kirby flying forward, and causes the refrigerator to fall off, tilt over, and land on the floor with a loud thunk, as Blanky, now blue, and with his teeth chattering, shivers in the freezer, due to the ice freezing him] No, no, no. Hey!
Radio: [annoyed] Shut up! Shut up!
Toaster, Kirby and Blanky: [annoyed] Shut up!
Radio: Let somebody else try for a change. [next scene with the appliances, minus Radio, on Blanky] Arise, Hassan. Arise, O Magic Carpet.

Toaster: We need a longer cord.
Radio: Why, we need an alternate power source, I'd say.

Toaster: I can't see the road anymore. Are we going the right direction?
Blanky: I don't think so.
Radio: Why, you boys are gonna need a navigator.
Lampy: Navigator?
Radio: Why, sure. I'll just tune in on a radio signal from the city, see? I can take you right there lickety-split. [after going through many staticky radio stations, he finally gets a clear signal from the city] North by Northwest. Watch out for low-flying aircraft.
[Lampy lands on Blanky]
Blanky: OUCH!
Toaster: What's wrong?
Blanky: [angrily; referring to Lampy] He stepped on me.
Lampy: Did not.
Blanky: Did too!
Lampy: Did not.
Blanky and Kirby: Did too!
Lampy: [defensively] Did not!
Toaster: [annoyed] Hey, hey, hey, come on. How do guys expect us to get there if you're fighting all the time?
Blanky: You mean, we're not there yet?
Toaster: [calmly and smiling] No, no, not yet. [rubs Blanky's head] We got a long way to go.
Kirby: [warily; agreeing with Toaster] Oh, boy. You're tellin' me.
[18 seconds later]
Toaster: ♪ Life is like a journey on the road that's within. Heads says you should stay, but your heart says to begin. So, you go. ♪
Everyone: ♪ But you don't want to go. ♪
Toaster: ♪ Any life worth living isn't life just filled with ease. You just stay forgiving through the forest and the trees. ♪
Toaster and Lampy: ♪ And you'll go... just where you want to go. ♪
Appliances: ♪ Time flies by in the City of Light. Time stands still in the country. There's no time for a fuss and a fight. As we travel the land. ♪
Lampy and Radio: ♪ And I'd be satisfied, just to be not denied. ♪
Toaster, Lampy and Radio: ♪ To reside with some pride. ♪
Appliances: ♪ While I ride to the city, The City of Light. ♪
Lampy: ♪ Light shines like a diamond in the city at night. ♪
Radio: ♪ Whenever that diamond shines, you know that everything's all right. ♪
Kirby: ♪ But you know, we got a way to go. ♪
Blanky: ♪ Let us meet the Master, we don't wanna make him wait. ♪
Lampy and Blanky: ♪ You just keep a-knockin', He will open up the gates ♪
Appliances: ♪ To that City of Light! ♪
[Kirby goes behind a tree, doing his business. Blanky looks, and Toaster hits Blanky's head to give Kirby some privacy]
Lampy: ♪ Master is a man with a plan I can understand. ♪
Toaster: ♪ Master is a man of great reflection. ♪
Radio: ♪ Master is a man who lays his hand across the land. ♪
Blanky: ♪ Master is the man of our affection. ♪
Everyone: ♪ Time flies by in the City of Light. Time stands still in the country. There's no time for a fuss and a fight, as we travel the land. ♪
Lampy and Radio: ♪ And I'd be satisfied, just to be not denied ♪
Everyone: ♪ To reside with some pride, while I ride to the city, The City of Light. ♪

[The other appliances stop at a clearing in a bramble patch]
Lampy: Hey, everybody! Look! A clearing!
Kirby: Great. Let's spread out The Blanket and have a picnic.
Blanky: But I'm full of stickers.
Kirby: Well, my bags are full of thistles and sticks and who knows what else! Whose idea was it to come this way anyway?
Radio: Why, it was the Lamp's, I tell you guys!
Lampy: Oh, yeah? Who's supposed to be the big-shot navigator around here, Mr. Loudmouth, Mr. Big...Loudmouth?
Kirby: Yeah.
Toaster: Where are we, anyway?
Radio: Now, look here, fellas, just give me a second, and, uh-- [notices the small pebble] Whoa, listen to this! It's the top of the 9th( Inning), the bases are loaded, and Pee-Wee Reese is at the plate. There's the pitch, [kicks the pebble in the air] and he connects! [hits the pebble with his antenna, which bounces off Toaster, Kirby, and Lampy respectively] Ohh, and it's the Triple Play!
[Kirby and Lampy angrily swarm around Radio]
Toaster: Knock it off, you guys. We should all settle down and try to get some sleep.
[Lampy drops the rock. Next scene shifts to Lampy laying his head on a rock like a pillow. He hears a sound and sees Radio drawing the dirt circle in the dirt]
Radio: [about the circle in the dirt] This is my sleeping space, see? And nobody crosses this line.
Lampy: Yeah? Well, you better not wake us up at 6:00 as usual.
Kirby: What are you complaining about? You didn't do any work today.
Radio: Yeah.
[Blanky crawls to Lampy, who looks at him angrily]
Lampy: Go find your own place to sleep, you little fuzzball. [goes to sleep; Blanky tries going into Radio's sleeping space, but Radio stops him.]
Radio: Watch it! Hey! Hey! Hey! What, are you blind? It's the line. Aht-aht!
Kirby: [annoyed] Good night! [falls asleep]
[Blanky tries cuddling up to Toaster, who then wakes up]
Toaster: [tired, shoos Blanky away] Come on. I'm not the Master. Go snuggle somewhere else. I'm trying to get some sleep. Now go on.
[Blanky looks dejected and sleeps by himself]

[The appliances stop at a clearing in a dark forest]
Blanky: Do we have to stop here?
Toaster: Only for a while.
Radio: Just long enough to lose our minds! We'll be cannibals in a few days, I've seen it happen!
Kirby: And you'd be the first to go, Dial Face.
Lampy: Hey, guys! We can stay in here! Look! [turns on his light to reveal a scary face on a tree; the appliances scream in horror and hide in the bushes] What's the matter?
Radio: Eaten alive, the poor sap!
[Lampy turns around and sees the scary face]
Lampy: [scared] WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!! [runs and joins the others in the bushes]
Radio: Oh, I thought you were a goner.
Lampy: Ah, you wish.
Toaster: You know, guys, we are gonna need some kind of shelter.
Kirby: Yeah, shelter from the likes of them.
Radio: [imitating boxer] Come on over here and say that, Chrome-Dome!
[Lampy blows raspberries at Kirby]
Kirby: [shocked and angry] WHAT?!
Radio: Oh, sorry about that. I meant to say, "Vacuous Vacuum". [Kirby angrily grumbles] Alright, ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble. In the blue corner, undefeated champion, Rocko "the Radio" Ratuno. Ding! Oh, and there's the bell! They're on each other like black on a bowling ball!
[Radio and Kirby are about to fight but Toaster comes between them]
Lampy: Hey! Look!
[everyone sees that Blanky has made himself into a tent; next scene switches to the ending of "The Star-Spangled Banner".]
Radio: And that concludes our broadcast day. This is Lowell Winchell signing off. Good night, America, and all the ships at sea. [static]
Toaster: [pats Blanky, smiling] Thanks.
Blanky: Oh, that's all right. [yawns and falls asleep]
Lampy: [tapping on the rock, and prepares to go sleep, but then looks at Toaster] So, uh, what's this thing with you and the Blanket?
Toaster: What thing?
Lampy: You know, all of a sudden, you're being so darn nice to him all of a sudden.
Toaster: Oh, that. Well, I was just thinking, and I-I got this feeling I should be nicer to him for a change, you know? And now I feel better.
Lampy: Wow, that's weird.
Toaster: What's weird about it?
Lampy: I don't know. I mean, you were never this nice to me before. And now, all of a sudden, you're nice to him all the time, and I don’t know. I'm, uh, I'm just trying to understand, trying to figure out, you know, exactly what it all means.
Toaster: Well, it's kind of hard to describe. It's like being next to a new loaf of bread. [pauses] Hmm. It's, uh-- Let's see. It's like a warm, toasty feeling inside. [Lampy thinks] Well, like a glow that just--
Lampy: [happily] A glow?
Toaster: Yeah.
Lampy: I think I know what you're talking about. It's like the feeling I get when I think about The Master.
Toaster: Yeah, that's it.
[flashback of Lampy and Young Rob, the appliances' Master]
Lampy: [narrating] I remembered the first time my light bulb burned out. [the light bulb blows out, and Young Rob takes it out of Lampy] And I thought, "That's it! It's over! I'm burned out! 86'ed! To the showers!" But then the Master put in a brand-new bulb... [Rob puts in the new light bulb and goes back to reading] ...and I just glowed. [the flashback ends, and he turns off his light bulb]
Toaster: Well, that is all there is to it.
Lampy: That's very interesting. [pauses] Good night, Slot Head. [goes to sleep]
Toaster: Good night. [yawns, then goes to sleep]

Kirby: [alarmed] THE BATTERY'S GONE DEAD!
Radio: We're trapped here like rats; Small, little rats with no hair and one leg.
Toaster: [frantic] BLANKY! BLANKY!
Kirby: BLANKET! BLANKET! Where are you, you little wimp?!
[the other appliances call out to Blanky, but Lampy decides to plug into the dead car battery, and a bolt of lightning hits Lampy, which successfully charges the dead car battery, but destroys Lampy's light bulb; the other appliances look on in shock]
Toaster: [alarmed] LAMPY!
[Lampy falls off the chair and loses consciousness; the other appliances go toward the unconscious Lampy as the successfully recharged car battery hums and zaps, and the other appliances sadly stare at the unconscious Lampy, thinking he had died]

[The very next morning, a bird is chirping]
Toaster: Blanky? Blanky, where are you? [slowly] Blaaaaankeeeey?
Lampy: [weakly] Come on, Blanky! Speak up, for Pete's sake! [coughs and zaps]
Toaster: No, no, just relax. You've done enough. We'll look for him.
Lampy: I am feeling a little burned out.
Radio: Listen to this: "The Lamp was awarded a Purple Heart today for being wounded in the line of duty. Lamps across the nation were switched off for a moment of silence in respect for his act of bravery."
Blanky: [in distance] Help!
Toaster: Hey, listen.
Blanky: [in distance] Help me, please! Toaster! Kirby! I'm stuck!
Tosater: I hear him.
Lampy: But I can't see him anywhere.
Radio: [thinking Blanky had died] Maybe he's calling from Blanket Heaven. He's a little puffy yellow angel with a knob nose. [Lampy almost cries, as if saying, "Aw, poor guy."]
Kirby: [dismissively] (No, he's not.) He's just stuck in a tree, that's all. Look!
[the other appliances see Blanky is indeed stuck in a tree]
Blanky: Help!

Kirby: [see the waterfall; shocked] Oh, what's-- What's-- Oh, no! Oh, no! [tries to swallow his cord]
Toaster: KIRBY, NO!
Lampy: GET THE CORD OUT OF HIS MOUTH! DON'T LET HIM SWALLOW IT!
Radio: SWITCH HIM OFF!
[Toaster jumps on Kirby and switches him off. A few minutes later, he pushes Kirby while reviving him]
Lampy: Just shorted right out.
Radio: Cracked up and snapped. He sold the farm. Poor chump.
Lampy: How's he look?
Radio: [to Lampy] A little better than you, actually. [to Toaster] Keep it up, Slots! Even carpet sweeping motions! He should come around sooner or later.
Toaster: Hey, I think it's working. [the appliances went to him] Kirby? Kirby, can you hear me?
Blanky: Wake up. Wake up. [Kirby wakes up] Kirby!
Toaster: You're all right!
Toaster, Lampy, Radio and Blanky: [happily] YEAH!
Kirby: [gutteral growl] LAY OFF!!! Just lay off!
Toaster: What's the matter?
Lampy: We were worried about you.
Radio: You gave us a real scare, pal.
Kirby: Well, there's nothing wrong with me, "pal", so just back off.
Blanky: Don't be angry.
Kirby: Just keep your antennas and knobs and wires and rivets off my chrome. Who needs you guys, anyway; Got to drag you around all the time, bunch of dead weight? I'd be better off without ya.
[Toaster, Lampy, Radio, and Blanky are stunned in confusion]
Blanky: [hurtfully] But, Kirby--
Kirby: Especially you, you little rag. [pauses a few seconds when they hear the waterfall] So, uh, how do we get across this thing, anyway?
[Scene cuts to Toaster, Lampy, Radio and Blanky tied up cords with Kirby]
Radio: I think (Harry) Houdini did this once. Why, if I remember right, he was out of the hospital in no time.
Lampy: Well, that's encouraging.
Toaster: Okay, Kirby.
[Kirby swings Toaster to the other side of the cliff near the waterfall, and Toaster tries to pull the others]
Lampy: Hey, guys, we're not dead!

Radio: Damn thee, thou cursed whale! From the depths of Hell, I stab at thee! [pokes Kirby's bags]
Kirby: Climb on, you idiot!
Radio: Oh, it's you!
Kirby: Where's Toaster?
Lampy: He sank!

[Kirby has just saved Blanky, Lampy, Radio and Toaster from the rapids]
Radio: Boy, are we glad to see you!
Lampy: I really thought I'd turn in my warranty that time!
Radio: Yeah, until Baggy here showed up!
Kirby: I just slipped and fell in, is all.
[Radio, Lampy and Blanky laugh]
Lampy: Yeah, sure. Right.
Blanky: You can't fool us. We love you.
Radio: That's right, like Mrs. Roosevelt loved her husband.
Kirby: Yeah, yeah. Why, here's the shore. Everybody off!
Radio: Listen to this: This is President Roosevelt awarding The Vacuum the Medal of Honor. [places a leaf on Kirby's face and salutes]
[Kirby blows the leaf off his face as Radio and Lampy laugh]

Mish-Mash: Hey, look at me! I mean, really! Barf, barf, barf! I'm a can opener, lamp, and a shaver! Oh-ho-ho-ho, God, I'm a Mish-Mash!

Toaster: [whispering] K-K-Kirby, what should we do?!
Kirby: I-I-I don't know.
Lampy: Hey. I got an idea.
[Elmo St. Peters continues to try doing the operation, Toaster closes the curtains. Elmo looks up; Blanky and Kirby make spooky sounds. As soon as Elmo sees his reflection on Toaster, Kirby laughs like a ghost, as Elmo screams, runs around and runs into the pole, which knocks him out]
Lampy: See? It worked! I told you it would work! I told ya, I told ya, I told ya, I knew, I knew, I knew! It worked!
Megaphone: JAILBREAK! JAILBREAK! JAILBREAK! [imitates as a siren]
[The Refrigerator pounds the door down; then, Quadruped goes in Monster Truck. He almost starts him up, but he puts his seatbelt on first; then, he ignites Monster Truck and drives away quickly, while the broken appliances run away back to their owners and Toaster and his gang rescue Radio and went off into the city with him and a baby carriage]
Elmo St. Peters: [wakes up and notices the shack being torn apart] Whoa... Uh... [confused] What?
Zeke: Did I catch you at a bad time? Just wondering if you got some of my radio tubes.

[while trying to find Rob, the appliances come across to a stoplight]
Toaster: Excuse me. Could you tell us how to get to, uh-- To, uh--
Lampy: 2470 McBean Parkway.
[the stoplight points right and his light turns green]

[The appliances arrive at Rob's apartment.]
Lampy: A113. This is it.
Toaster: Go ahead.
[Lampy knocks the door and the appliances freeze; nothing happens]
Blanky: He's not home.
Toaster: We'll have to wait.
Radio: So, let's wait inside; Relax.
Lampy: But it's locked.
Radio: Luckily, my war-training included Inter-Appliance Codes. I will simply render the Secret Appliance Knock, and we'll be welcomed by the Native Machinery. Stand aside, my meager companion. [begins to knock the door; then he rapidly taps the heads of Toaster, Lampy and Blanky. The door opens and Plugsy comes out] Hiya, pal.
Plugsy: [gasps and dashes back inside and slams the door] It's them. [He and the other modern appliances whisper inaudibly. Them, the door opens again, and he comes back out calmly] How do yous do? Tarry not upon our doorstop. Please, feel free to enter. All of yous.

Lampy: Boy, he sure has grown.
Radio: Look at him. What a heartbreaker.
Toaster: He graduated, too.
Kirby: Of course. He knows how to work hard.
Blanky: He's all big now. I hope he still needs us.
Black and White T.V.: Still needs you? That's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
Radio: Why, if it isn't Ol' Rabbit Ears.
Black and White T.V.: Why, if it isn't Ol' Loudmouth.
Blanky: Hi, T.V.
Lampy: How are you doing?
Black and White T.V.: Oh, I've got a few more seasons left.
Toaster: The cottage just wasn't the same after they took you away.
Kirby: Yeah, it wasn't as noisy.
Black and White T.V.: Well, I see you haven't changed.
Radio: Kind of gives you a sense of security, doesn't it?
Blanky: Where's the Master?
[Plugsly angrily sneaks up]
Black and White T.V.: Didn't anybody tell you? Boy, is he gonna be surprised when he gets back. He just left a little while ago to drive up to the co--
[Plugsy sneaks up behind Black and White T.V. and changes his channel to Spanish news network. Radio and Lampy find Plugsy]
Lampy: Hey!
Radio: What's the idea?
Plugsy: [sarcastically] Oh, many pardons. Was you watching that channel?

Rob: This sure doesn't look like Crazy Ernie's Amazing Emporium of Total Bargain Madness.
Chris: It's the right address.
Rob: Hmm.

Taglines

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Cast

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