Happy Holidays from Hogwarts and Hobbits

Elijah Webb
Harry Potter
Harry Potter

Christmas is right around the corner, but this season also represents a special time for fans—especially this year. This year marks the 20th anniversaries of the premiers of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone and The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring in theaters. These are two of the most successful film and book franchises of all time, each with strong parallels (orphan protagonist living with relatives, mentored by an old wizard, dark lord, powerful artifacts, etc.). While no one could have quite predicted how far-reaching and ubiquitous these film series would become, their impact on culture can’t be understated. Many of us feel like we know these characters, so why don’t we pit them against one another? Here’s Harry Potter vs The Lord of the Rings—Holiday Edition.

Who will give a more thoughtful gift?
Sam or Ron?

Both of these guys have such puppy dog energy. Loyal, simple, brave, and the best kind of friend. Sam is considerate to a fault, and always puts the needs of others before his own. Ron is sweet and compassionate, and coming from a poor family you know he’s learned to get creative with his gift-giving. Sam’s attention to detail is going to give him the edge here, though. He’ll remember that thing you mentioned all the way back in June and then give it in a moment of triumph—then he’ll downplay it and make it seem like it was nothing.

Who will plan the best party?
Pippin or Hermione?

You’ll be hard pressed to find two more different characters between these two franchises, but we’ll pit them against each other because both would have volunteered to plan the party. Let’s compare their strengths. Pippin knows how to have fun. He’s quick with a song or a joke or a drink, and he’s usually the life of the party. Hermione fulfills any assignment to its utmost. While not a natural partier, she can research and experiment like none other, and will make sure that the party is up to her exacting standards. This one will go to Hermione. Pippin doesn’t need much to have a good time, so he may not bring much to the table. Hermione has the freedom to get creative because she’ll have a wealth of knowledge to draw from.

Who is going to be the better Santa?
Gandalf or Dumbledore?

This one is going to be close. Both Gandalf and Dumbledore are incredibly smart, capable, kind, and a bit eccentric. Dumbledore will have wonderful tricks and treats and will go the extra mile in decorating his space to fully immerse you. Gandalf also has some tricks (perhaps fireworks?) and will take the time for each and every child and adult who wants to tell them what they want for Christmas. Ultimately, this one goes to Gandalf. Dumbledore could absolutely play the part on the surface, but deep down he’ll likely remain a little distant or distracted. Gandalf has a greater capacity for mirth and levity, and would certainly bring a jollier Saint Nick to the table.

Who’s more likely to ruin the party?
Sauron or Voldemort?

Obviously neither of these guys were invited. How much will they let it affect them? Sauron will definitely stew about it and talk about how he would’ve planned a much better party and how everyone would’ve had way more fun. Voldemort will be indignant at the exclusion because he believes that any party is made better by his presence. If someone’s going to show up to ruin it, it’s going to be Voldemort. Sauron is more of the type to be mad from a distance then post some cryptic complaint on social media like, “Crazy how you think you know someone then they show you their true colors.” If Voldemort can’t have fun, no one can. He’ll go to great lengths to derail the party (stink bombs, snakes, killing Cedric, etc.), but of course he’ll fail to ruin it like he fails at most things (the man was beaten by a baby).

Nothing like a bit of friendly competition to get you ready for Christmas. What good is loving something if you can’t pick it apart and compare it to other things that you love? Enjoyment for the sake of enjoyment? Maybe, but however you feel about these franchises or the holiday season in general, we can all probably agree that Gollum would be our last choice for whom we meet under the mistletoe.

Elijah Webb
Writer. Podcaster. Collector. Two-time Carnival Cruise trivia winner.